Friday, July 30, 2010

Where has the Knight in the Family gone?

You can find an amusing story "The Knight in Shining Armor" in the book Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus by John Gray. The story is in the chapter about Discovering our Different Emotional Needs, specifically on page 138 of the 1992 edition. Parents in the family will do well by reading at least this chapter.

What I like about that story is the way it illustrates how women in the family, with all their good intentions, can almost always turn off their men and boys. It illustrates how the Knight in shining armor of the olden days really still thrive in the genes of men even up to this day.

The question is, how does the family appreciate the Knight?

Let me relate to you the story as shortly as I could. But I suggest you get your own copy of the book because every page of it contains wisdom that one would rather learn from books that from having to learn it the proverbial "hard way."

Here goes the abridged story . . .

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Is Fatherhood Worth Celebrating?

Father's Day is way past this year, but a post with the same title as mine examines Father's Day and gives advise on fatherhood.

The post was written by a woman. Now, something in her post bothered me a lot (emphases mine):
BEING a father is not easy, it is one of the biggest tasks any man looks up to. Recently, the world celebrated Father's Day to honour and celebrate fatherhood, paternal bonds, and their influence in the society. It complements the Mother's Day. But are men really worth celebrating?

One would wonder why men should be celebrated because when compared to women, many believe that men are not as valuable xxx Also, every woman wants a man she can be emotionally attached to, someone who shares her commitment as a partner and who will not place his career above the family life; most men do not fit into this picture.


Sunday, July 25, 2010

A Rare Family Gathering That Warmed My Heart

Right after Holy Week this year, my wife, my children and I had the privilege of spending time with the larger family (my mother, siblings, nephews and nieces) in Cagayan de Oro City and Malaybalay City. I was grateful for my elder sisters who sponsored our air fare :)

It was a great experience to be part of the larger family again. We had lots of photos together, ate meals together and traveled together, a very rare event these days when each one already has his/her own career and own places to live in.

We gathered to attend an important ceremony for our youngest family member who joined the Carmelite nuns. We assembled in Cagayan de Oro City, then proceeded together in a convoy to Malaybalay City the next day.

Friday, July 23, 2010

If you don't read the Five Love Languages, you might hate yourself later

What I might strongly recommend as an important chapter in the Manual for Fathers (if there is one) is the Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. No kidding there.

The book provides an emotional road map that I believe men can relate to in the same way that men relate to an actual road map. To navigate in unfamiliar territory, we look for a map, don't we? The book reduces the nebulous subject matter called "love" into something that's all of a sudden logical, relatable and doable!

The truth is, dealing with loving relationships is a cross men carry. I have read psychology and biology materials that scientifically support that view. So, let's carry the cross well, and with style!

Yeah, I know golf and football are more interesting topics. I just happen to be someone who wants my wife to hand me my snacks and drinks with a smile and a kiss, while I watch ESPN. That requires an X-Factor called a great loving relationship.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Do You Make This Mistake in Parenting?

Help for parents may be needed in some areas of parenting, especially on expectations from kids. Being happy with our kids and expecting our kids to make us happy are two very different things!
If you expect children to make you happy, you will be disappointed.
Too many parents link their well-being to the mood of their offspring and end up miserable and guilt-ridden
'I have never been so happy as when my first child was born – and this was partly because my life was no longer about me." This is how one of my friends explains her euphoria at the birth of her daughter xxx But do children, once the initial thrill is past, make parents happier? A brilliantly argued article, in New York magazine, maintains that having children does not make us happier at all.
Source: Kate Kellaway, The Observer, 11-July 2010

Sunday, July 18, 2010

An Amazing Discovery at the Museum for Kids

A Huey helicopter at the Museum for Kids? That's an amazing discovery for my family, indeed.

For someone who knows that UH1H "Huey" helicopters are deadly war machines flown in battles against insurgents in the countryside, I find it absolutely weird that I see one of them sitting in a museum for kids. No, it didn't matter that they have repainted the thing with kiddy colors and designs.

Friday, July 16, 2010

The Love Language of Acts of Service

The so called "Acts of Service" is one of the Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. The person with that love language will appreciate love more when you do something for him or her, like mixing coffee in the morning, iron clothes, open doors for him/her, buy groceries for him/her, etc.

The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That LastsI grew up washing clothes of my elder brothers, scrubbing the floor at home, etc. I hated those days, but lived through it for as long as I did it only for my family. So, when someone acted as if he wanted me to serve him, resentment would set in. You would hear me mumble, "who do you think you are? you lucky {tot-tot-tot-tot}!" Or among Filipinos one might say, "ano ka? sinuswerte?"

Little did I know that because of that attitude, I locked myself out of a segment of the population who would put their lives on the line for me. You see, when some people around you do something for you, they're actually saying something! It will be sad to blind ourselves from that truth.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Parenthood sucks? What are they thinking?

Parenthood sucks, or so everyone keeps saying? Everyone? Let's examine this further.
Not On Board With Baby
Parenthood—the condition, not the TV show—sucks. Or so everyone keeps saying.

It’s no surprise that Jennifer Senior’s insightful, provocative New York magazine cover story, “I Love My Children, I Hate My Life,” is inciting much chatter—nothing gets people talking like the suggestion that child rearing is anything less than a completely fulfilling, life-enriching experience. (Source:
To readers not used to western slang, the word "suck" used this way means "to be disgustingly disagreeable or offensive" ( Filipinos are kind-hearted people. But one can't say "parenthood sucks" here and remain likeable.

Sunday, July 11, 2010

My Birthday Gifts for My Son

My son's birthday was a month ago, and the birthday gifts that I could give were my time and attention plus some special food that my wife prepared. It was a very happy birthday for him.

We all simply stayed home on his birthday, had chicken for lunch and ice cream at mid-afternoon. In the evening, it was even more special. There was the usual dinner, plus chocolate cake.  We also sang the usual Happy Birthday song.

After dinner I asked him what DVD he liked to watch, and I would watch it with him. He chose Passion of the Christ. Up to this time I didn't know why of all the kiddie movies available, he chose that!

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