tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-83341848167871184382024-03-13T17:12:09.001+08:00Fatherhood [dot] WinIt's Cool to be a Dad! Sidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00041646426133904759noreply@blogger.comBlogger77125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8334184816787118438.post-72942168686097547942016-05-13T01:39:00.000+08:002016-05-16T14:53:54.443+08:003 Potential Ripples of the Duterte Phenomenon in Asia and the Pacific<b>The May 9, 2016 national elections in the Philippines that saw the rise of Davao City Mayor Rodrigo Duterte to power drew the active participation of the electorate in the intense debates, thanks in large measure to social media. Exchanges were so passionate at all levels that relationships were strained even among families and friends. When Duterte was vocal to his displeasure to statements from foreign observers, some fear the country's relationship with other countries would be strained as well.</b><br />
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<i>But first, who is Duterte and why is he popular?</i><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Presumptive President Rodrigo Duterte<br />
Photo taken from the video by <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0q7D8bEKdOE" target="_blank">Matt Wilkie</a></td></tr>
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Many analysts agree that the so-called <a href="http://news.abs-cbn.com/halalan2016/focus/04/29/16/dissecting-the-duterte-phenomenon" target="_blank">Duterte phenomenon</a> has been brought about by the gnawing dissatisfaction among the Filipinos about the current administration, most specifically the Aquinos. In the past 30 years, two members of the Aquino clan have led the country -- <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Corazon_Aquino" target="_blank">Corazon "Cory" Aquino</a> (1986 to 1992), the wife of <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Assassination_of_Benigno_Aquino_Jr." target="_blank">Ninoy Aquino who was gunned down</a> at the Manila International Airport in 1983, and <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Benigno_Aquino_III" target="_blank">Noynoy Aquino</a> (2010-2016), their son.<br />
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<a name='more'></a>Up to this day, not one of them brought to justice the mastermind of the assassination of Ninoy Aquino. Yet in between, Cory <a href="http://articles.philly.com/1987-10-13/news/26216480_1_angry-aquino-president-corazon-c-aquino-luis-beltran" target="_blank">sued a popular columnist for libel</a>. Noynoy on the other hand <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Impeachment_of_Renato_Corona" target="_blank">unseated Chief Justice Renato Corona</a>. This has aroused suspicion that, perhaps, it wasn't Marcos after all who staged the assassination. Rather, it was <a href="http://archives.newsbreak-knowledge.ph/2007/11/23/%E2%80%98eduardo-cojuangco-behind-ninoy-aquino-murder%E2%80%99/" target="_blank">someone else that the Aquinos do not want to divulge</a>, a thought which makes Filipinos (<a href="https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10154188440011340&set=a.167743026339.150767.694386339&type=3&theater" target="_blank">me included</a>) feel betrayed.<br />
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The former Governor of North Cotabato, Manny Pinol, who was also a former supporter or Noynoy, wrote a <a href="http://mybigblogger.com/manny-pino/" target="_blank">passionate letter</a> to the President that outlines his dissatisfaction: broken promises, continuing corruption, lack of compassion, rise in criminality, poverty.<br />
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Then here comes Duterte, a man from Davao City, a city in the far south. Duterte is known for his iron fist on one hand and a compassionate heart on the other. He is known to be living <a href="http://www.rappler.com/nation/politics/elections/2016/107644-photos-rodrigo-duterte-home" target="_blank">a simple life in a simple home</a>, even while serving as Mayor for more than two decades.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Click to enlarge</td></tr>
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Yes, there are <a href="http://global-is-asian.nus.edu.sg/index.php/duterte-and-the-qualms-about-his-presidency/" target="_blank">qualms about him</a>. But his supporters would have none of the arguments against him. His record as a local chief executive is testimony to the value of his word, his hatred for corruption and criminality, his infectious compassion towards people and his sincere desire to lift people out of poverty.<br />
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With Duterte as President and Commander-in-Chief, the country is expecting a huge change in the way things are done in the Philippines: <a href="http://www.gmanetwork.com/news/story/556605/news/nation/duterte-assures-he-won-t-declare-martial-law" target="_blank">strict enforcement of laws</a> and more <a href="http://newsinfo.inquirer.net/785135/duterte-vows-to-implement-foi-through-executive-order" target="_blank">transparent government</a> on one hand; and, on the other, a compassionate government that <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I6YSdzKvE6o" target="_blank">provides immediate assistance to the poor</a> in need, <a href="http://www.mindanews.com/peace-process/2016/04/27/duterte-joma-sison-coming-home-to-talk-peace/" target="_blank">extends a hand of peace to insurgents and secessionists</a> and <a href="http://www.rappler.com/rappler-blogs/131302-davao-city-drug-rehabilitation-center-bahay-pagasa" target="_blank">helps criminals get back to the mainstream</a> society.<br />
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<i>But will Duterte play ball with international partners?</i><br />
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The paranoid among the observers think that Duterte might unnecessarily severe diplomatic ties with long-time partners because of his harsh language. I believe such paranoia is naiveté more than anything else.<br />
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For instance, it is highly unlikely that Australia would severe ties with the Philippines just because Duterte <a href="http://kickerdaily.com/duterte-aussie-ambassador-whats-your-problem-i-gave-your-compatriot-instant-justice/" target="_blank">hit back at the Australian Ambassador</a> to the Philippines Amanda Gorely, saying, "What's your problem, I gave your compatriot instant justice!" The thought is highly laughable.<br />
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But still, how likely will Duterte play with other players in the |international scene? Let's choose three countries at the moment: United States, China and Malaysia.<br />
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<i>Take note: I do not claim to be an expert about Duterte nor in international affairs. I just happen to be a son of Mindanao too, with a short stint in the halls of power (see Items 1 and 7 in <a href="http://www.fatherhood.win/p/8-things-about-me.html" target="_blank">10 Things About me</a>). So, if you have a better or different understanding of Duterte and his most probable foreign policies, please feel free to type in your comments in this blog post.</i><br />
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<h3>
United States of America</h3>
<div>
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The USA would certainly find Duterte challenging. He's one guy they can't control. Duterte isn't the typical "Yes sir" Filipino. Far from it. He is his own man ... <i>and he doesn't like US meddling in national and local affairs</i>.</div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">US Army soldiers train their Filipino counterparts.<br />
Source: Breaking Defense website - http://j.mp/1X5RKfF</td></tr>
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Duterte's attitude towards the US manifested well when, in 2002, a <a href="http://ireport.cnn.com/docs/DOC-673129" target="_blank">CIA operative carelessly let a bomb explode</a> in his rented room at Evergen Hotel, injuring him. This agent was later spirited away from Davao City, angering Duterte who wanted to try that agent for violating sovereignty laws.<br />
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What infuriated Duterte further was his suspicion that, taking the bomb explosion incident involving a CIA as a clue, the US might had a hand in the bomb explosions in Davao just months after that.<br />
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Duterte however vows to <a href="http://newsinfo.inquirer.net/769995/duterte-bucks-edca-but-is-willing-to-honor-it" target="_blank">honor the on-going Enhanced Defense Cooperation Agreement</a> (EDCA) with the USA. The presence of the US forces in the Philippines is an asset he certainly can use to protect the sovereignty of the Philippines. It is an asset that he would rather not use though, or at least not yet. He'll most likely exploit all possible tracks that would avert any war.<br />
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Should war ensure, God forbid, Duterte would mobilize Filipino forces first, the best way he can, before accepting help from the USA. He would want a war led by Filipinos, not by Americans. That might make American decision makers not comfortable, but I would like to believe that is a track they would gladly respect.<br />
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So, the US can continue to use the Philippines as its foothold in Asia to protect its interests and mutual defense obligations in Asia and the Pacific. But US soldiers who commit crimes in Philippine soil could expect no compassion from Duterte. When a violator is spirited away again, the US can expect Duterte to raise hell.<br />
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<h3>
China</h3>
<div>
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Duterte's attitude towards China is clear: he does not want a war. He'd prepare for one, but he won't risk initiating one. With China's size, 14x that of the Philippines, that's not hard to understand. At this point, he's honoring EDCA with the USA, clearly as a deterrent. He also intends to revive the <a href="http://www.rappler.com/nation/90877-duterte-rotc-china-build-up-west-ph-sea" target="_blank">compulsory military training for males</a> to augment government forces should the crisis with China goes out of control, a scenario he doesn't wish to happen.</div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOYJZTxqlZL4dtUUxeYsAfwX1EdNqgkH0kNAi-zyKt74T5NvLeH6-dK7F98FiPFlK3PHekSzricODg-4CCpBjpW19lTNtvr5anU2ir5RJPVL7eDud5_oYjNGpjk27LFHSS3ZMLmijZnAo/s1600/_67616829_south_china-sea_1_464.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="325" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOYJZTxqlZL4dtUUxeYsAfwX1EdNqgkH0kNAi-zyKt74T5NvLeH6-dK7F98FiPFlK3PHekSzricODg-4CCpBjpW19lTNtvr5anU2ir5RJPVL7eDud5_oYjNGpjk27LFHSS3ZMLmijZnAo/s400/_67616829_south_china-sea_1_464.gif" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The disputed islands in West Phlippine Sea<br />
Source: BBC News - http://j.mp/1X5SbGN</td></tr>
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Negotiations, would remain to be Duterte's main weapon of choice. While he maintains that <a href="http://www.rappler.com/nation/politics/elections/2016/129579-duterte-last-resort-west-philippine-sea-ownership" target="_blank">he won't give up sovereignty</a>, Duterte declares openness to bilateral talks with China, IF and when China drops its "indisputable sovereignty" claim.<br />
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Will China reciprocate? At this point in time, the answer appears to be "No". As pre-condition to bilateral talks, China continues to demand recognition of its "indisputable sovereignty" over the West Philippine Sea. That's a condition that does not sit well with Duterte.<br />
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That demand does not sit well with <a href="http://thediplomat.com/2016/02/asean-seriously-concerned-by-chinas-south-china-sea-behavior/" target="_blank">ASEAN</a> either, nor with the international community, particularly, <a href="http://www.reuters.com/article/us-usa-eu-southchinasea-idUSKCN0VR01V" target="_blank">the United States and the European Union</a>.<br />
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So, what can China expect from Duterte? A pragmatic and guarded response akin to the young and small <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Goliath" target="_blank">David fighting Goliath with nothing but a slingshot</a>. They can expect Duterte to do his homework on making sure this slingshot would be effective enough to stun and incapacitate Goliath, should that be necessary. But first, Duterte would attempt to sit with China, the Goliath, on friendly terms.<br />
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How exactly he'll do that, or whether he can, remains to be seen. But his resolve cannot be doubted.<br />
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<h3>
Malaysia</h3>
<div>
<br />
Duterte's good relationship with Muslims in Mindanao is known to everyone. In fact, the Muslim rebel group, the Moro Islamic Liberation Front (MILF), has expressed <a href="http://cnnphilippines.com/news/2016/02/27/duterte-milf-meet.html" target="_blank">support to Duterte's presidential bid</a>. After all, they would want to deal with someone from Mindanao in solving the Muslim insurgency.<br />
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Duterte wants the minority Muslims in Mindanao to completely feel that they belong to the country, while maintaining their own cultural and religious identity. This is one of the reasons why Duterte is advocating <a href="http://www.manilatimes.net/federal-system-to-create-14-states-duterte/167226/" target="_blank">a federal form of government</a> (<a href="https://www.facebook.com/sidmacatol/posts/10154222826041340?pnref=story" target="_blank">something that I'm totally sold to as well</a>). With him as President, coupled with popular support, he just might actually facilitate such transition.<br />
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<i>But how does Malaysia factor in here?</i></div>
<div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcZFTR_vFH5VxbS2tB7WlQxQLrScAcpgKUNP_KVU-KZFSikRbZC1bbRc1UoBhAmPy2qC5t_wEcE8-2CeWsS86EMFEmhOdIWljFn_5jqeOk7agku5515XNSyXyJxVo52hiUZ3hqxiFxoXU/s1600/2-sabah-malaysia-philippines-map-20130214.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcZFTR_vFH5VxbS2tB7WlQxQLrScAcpgKUNP_KVU-KZFSikRbZC1bbRc1UoBhAmPy2qC5t_wEcE8-2CeWsS86EMFEmhOdIWljFn_5jqeOk7agku5515XNSyXyJxVo52hiUZ3hqxiFxoXU/s400/2-sabah-malaysia-philippines-map-20130214.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Source: Rappler http://j.mp/1X5Sqlg</td></tr>
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Duterte has declared, probably as his "first foreign policy pronouncement" that the "<a href="http://www.duterte.ph/sulu-sultanate.html" target="_blank">Philippine Government must never abandon the Sultanate of Sulu</a> and the people of the islands West of the country in their search for the recognition of their proprietary rights claim over Sabah."<br />
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That is a serious statement from a hard liner presumptive President who just won by a wide margin. Naturally, Malaysia should be concerned, much more than it did when the incumbent <a href="http://www.channelnewsasia.com/news/asiapacific/malaysia-summons/1869118.html" target="_blank">President Noynoy Aquino said the same thing</a>.<br />
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Presently, the international community recognizes Sabah as part of Malaysia since 1963. The chronology of the claim by the Sultanate of Sulu however dates way before that year. The <a href="http://www.philstar.com/headlines/2015/04/02/1440112/dfa-malaysia-paying-rent-sabah" target="_blank">continuing payment of measly rent by Malaysia</a> for Sabah since 1963 is perceived in the Philippines as a tacit recognition by Malaysia of that claim.<br />
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If Duterte would push this claim, what we can be certain at this point is that a military approach would be out of the question. He would use negotiation. This time however, Malaysia can expect a much less condescending negotiator at the other end of the table.<br />
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If handled well by both sides, this possible crisis within ASEAN can be contained well, especially in the light of the common struggle against China's expansionism right in the front yard of ASEAN.Sidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00041646426133904759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8334184816787118438.post-91719004406240164822015-02-17T06:46:00.001+08:002015-04-07T13:52:35.468+08:00Homeschoolers Are a Fraternity of Sort<b>If ever there is any consolation in the challenges we encounter in homeschooling our kids, it is the beauty that we see in the last 7 years, particularly back to the time when it all began, 2 years further back in time.</b><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhonb13EUELZZ0u0i6k1Y1WPK7UXTTte5YnzIXrRqywvZ7lDWUM9o_YflGHaymfjmRkkR5blTBoNbgQF20FccY_SATv1t2ahoq-Elodzco0bnKy53G9e01MxgO4QXLZn9dMwviiVYquCmM/s1600/061220092470.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhonb13EUELZZ0u0i6k1Y1WPK7UXTTte5YnzIXrRqywvZ7lDWUM9o_YflGHaymfjmRkkR5blTBoNbgQF20FccY_SATv1t2ahoq-Elodzco0bnKy53G9e01MxgO4QXLZn9dMwviiVYquCmM/s1600/061220092470.jpg" height="300" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Our son during a homeschoolers' common activity back in June 2009. We were homeschooling our son for a year already when this photo was taken.</td></tr>
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Having read up what we could about homeschooling nine years ago (that was in 2006, when our son was only 3 years old) and after having prayed hard about it, my wife and I said, "This is it!" We stuck to that decision unwaveringly since. We crafted our life and career decisions around it.<br />
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<a name='more'></a>Looking back, we weren't even aware about the <a href="http://catholicfilipinoacademy.com/" target="_blank">Catholic Filipino Academy</a> (CFA) when we made this decision; nor were we aware of any homeschooling provider, Catholic or otherwise, in the Philippines at that time. We just somehow jumped, as a matter of FAITH in God, that He would lead us there, and He DID! As it turned out the CFA was established on the same year when we made our decision.<br />
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That moment of decision by itself was (and is) beautiful, coz what followed after that were a series of landmarks in our life --- both good and bad --- that happened all because we said, "This is it!" In God's grace we relished those moments with passion.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh97DH36ZO7Lc-c691J-NNaoXcEW0EPHm1pPv25b8P3WajdIkrofEShL71n6N1FfUWC4OpDuaHOAFrqmhqq7kI0DAykYWKeeFReTJXcUtinsGW-s4YhBfdGV6H3dWmDZKqMHa2rXk8QXus/s1600/28122010508.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh97DH36ZO7Lc-c691J-NNaoXcEW0EPHm1pPv25b8P3WajdIkrofEShL71n6N1FfUWC4OpDuaHOAFrqmhqq7kI0DAykYWKeeFReTJXcUtinsGW-s4YhBfdGV6H3dWmDZKqMHa2rXk8QXus/s1600/28122010508.jpg" height="300" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Back in 2010, we sold almost everything we had except our work equipment and one piece of sofa ... and we moved back to Laguna. But, you know what? Homeschooling continues. In the picture above, class was on-going.</td></tr>
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When I wrote <a href="http://www.raisingfilipinoboys.com/2010/03/my-son-just-graduated-from-prep-in.html" target="_blank">the blog post I published on March 27, 2010</a>, I was scraping dirt after failing in a business and retreating to the province to start anew. We were homeschooling our son for 2 years already by then and our dire financial situation did not deter us from that direction. To paraphrase Invictus, our heads were "bloody, but unbowed".<br />
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Now we're back in Quezon City and our homeschooling continues. It is our gift to our two kids.<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUDFQE9yQuZ9FDVtF4EViJyrJtRK4Bzh65sOOGRqENTbLsJyZX28oaNQX2LFzJt9V6MJpF_3j-x-DS-m8oT7p0oMw0IRqM2QFDax18J0-HBIMKoVzs7_nMSd86GjB2NKuf9Cu98TBP9Gw/s1600/2015-01-18+14.03.30.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUDFQE9yQuZ9FDVtF4EViJyrJtRK4Bzh65sOOGRqENTbLsJyZX28oaNQX2LFzJt9V6MJpF_3j-x-DS-m8oT7p0oMw0IRqM2QFDax18J0-HBIMKoVzs7_nMSd86GjB2NKuf9Cu98TBP9Gw/s1600/2015-01-18+14.03.30.jpg" height="300" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A recent family "wefie" during my birthday last month. Time flies :)</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
Most people, including a few of those close to us, do not understand us. That hurts. But then we do not really expect people to understand. People do not need to. They just have to respect it and make smarter statements. But to those who sincerely want to understand why we do this, the articles in my blog say it all.<br />
<br />
We get lots of affirmation from people who understand homeschooling. This one in particular is from someone called "Danny", a contributor of "Didache". You have no idea how much his words inspires us, repeatedly. He wrote this back in Feb 4, 2013 in <a href="http://www.coolcatholics.org/p/who-we-are.html" target="_blank">my Cool Catholics blog</a> and I read it at every chance since then:<br />
<br />
<div class="specialquote">Hi Marvin & Rhia,<br />
<br />
Thank you for posting some of my reflections in Didache.<br />
<br />
I am happy to note that you are homeschooling your children. My 2 children who are now graduates (from DLSU ADMU) were both homeschooled up to high school. This is the BEST education a parent can give!<br />
<br />
Blessings!<br />
<br />
Danny</div><br />
Homeschoolers are a misunderstood lot. But homeschoolers couldn't care less. We *know* what we've got and we would not exchange it with anything else. We are a tightly knit 'fraternity' of some sort, bound by our common dreams, struggles and rewards for our children. We're happy we're doing this. Our children are happy that we're doing this.<br />
<br />
Most importantly, we believe we give glory to the Lord by doing this.<br />
<br />
Ad Maiorem de Gloriam!<br />
<div><br />
</div>Sidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00041646426133904759noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8334184816787118438.post-27444205084657893512014-02-22T07:32:00.000+08:002016-05-12T21:05:58.757+08:00The Honor Code of the Philippine Military Academy: An Outsider's PerspectiveI've never been to PMA. But I'm told, and so are you, that they have an Honor Code that says: "We the cadets do not lie, cheat, steal, nor tolerate among us those who do."<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUCMjAhxhRs6O85VODgg5izaWOH11rAzjg0Nhwr7FoJSjBIm4SuZRVcbw8pO9aqwyQLm8GlWkhBq_WvdxcbVWHptBGGDmJEEfRcFqXmPlDkVIwqbMOGeWxR8TchA_dKIG6NK6TwEZnWPA/s1600/2892480074_b67b3db46b_z.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="267" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUCMjAhxhRs6O85VODgg5izaWOH11rAzjg0Nhwr7FoJSjBIm4SuZRVcbw8pO9aqwyQLm8GlWkhBq_WvdxcbVWHptBGGDmJEEfRcFqXmPlDkVIwqbMOGeWxR8TchA_dKIG6NK6TwEZnWPA/s1600/2892480074_b67b3db46b_z.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">PMA Cadets stand at attention during Saturday Inspection.<br />
Image by <a href="http://j.mp/1fib7OH" target="_blank">Angel Ramos</a></td></tr>
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<br />
That sounds like something taken straight from a Student's Handbook that gathers dust somewhere around the house or dormitory, right? That's because most of us have never been to this institution. It's why we look at the "Honor Code" from the space of our own experience.<br />
<br />
<a name='more'></a>You see, when we go to college or university, we go home, we hang out, eat meals and do almost everything with no one to tell us when to start or stop (except perhaps your parents), much less salute and stand straight when somebody passes by. It's why the "Honor Code" is something that, perhaps, only fraternities and sororities talk about during initiations or ... when someone has violated it and has to be expelled.<br />
<br />
That at least is my experience. Have you got yours?<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEit7M4HwxFdQtTlnpb-7mGNw3uF9jgTdVEkifG9ctZxMZR7SayPnHF9WQO4z-T45x840-tF0ldkwCSKykwNRB0fNDfzfH1HNRUPAicRRIVJah_D28jj2d6FPOSJZROqAwoPPfGf9AIVgOw/s1600/2737162389_81684cb463_z.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEit7M4HwxFdQtTlnpb-7mGNw3uF9jgTdVEkifG9ctZxMZR7SayPnHF9WQO4z-T45x840-tF0ldkwCSKykwNRB0fNDfzfH1HNRUPAicRRIVJah_D28jj2d6FPOSJZROqAwoPPfGf9AIVgOw/s1600/2737162389_81684cb463_z.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A glimpse of carefree life at the University of the Philippines Los Banos<br />
Image by <a href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/oliver959rn/" target="_blank">Oliver Mejia</a> </td></tr>
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<br />
To continue, most of us did not live in an environment where the rules, regulations and traditions of the institution dictates what time you'd wake and what time you'd sleep, when you'd exercise and when you'd eat, when to go to class and when to do your homework, what to wear and what to do. To top all of that, most of us did not live in an environment wherein everything, including every shoe, moves in Swiss-time precision. Any deviation to the norm entitles you to penalties (through the merit and demerit system).<br />
<br />
That is why most of us do not know the context of the "Honor Code", much less understand how someone <a href="http://newsinfo.inquirer.net/579479/honor-code-governs-ways-of-the-pma-says-official" target="_blank">no less than the Class #2 has to get out for violating it</a>. Note that in this most recent case, the cadet was recommended for dismissal not for being late, which by itself is already a major thing in that institution, but by lying about why he came in late.<br />
<br />
Now, why is the "Honor Code" so important? I wish I can tell you an explanation that would sound like you're listening to Plato or Socrates. But the "Honor Code" system already says it all:<br />
<br />
"We the cadets do not lie, cheat, steal, nor tolerate among us those who do."<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center; width: 400px;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaAOflkVTy33qnxMx4VbWzlTCY5nixGiIQixetEjPkhQuwNJMKBzqC4wt1W6Txy4TASNlYDhmu4WNCY5WnUT_q7zE8IVDS9AEF58Bg9E3xZtOx53MjLiRfdBXXpzJBYIVQ-fk38rmt4CA/s1600/Pma_cadets.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaAOflkVTy33qnxMx4VbWzlTCY5nixGiIQixetEjPkhQuwNJMKBzqC4wt1W6Txy4TASNlYDhmu4WNCY5WnUT_q7zE8IVDS9AEF58Bg9E3xZtOx53MjLiRfdBXXpzJBYIVQ-fk38rmt4CA/s1600/Pma_cadets.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Their motto is "Courage, Integrity, Loyalty". Apparently, they take this motto very seriously; and Integrity comes before Loyalty. That scares away what kind of people?<br />
Image by <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Philippine_Military_Academy" target="_blank">Wikipedia</a></td></tr>
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<br />
Is there anything about that code that requires explanation? Granted, is there anyone who finds that code objectionable? Hardly, right? In fact, the simplicity and clarity of that code is what makes that code what it is: a code that is clear, ideal and therefore, read very carefully, demands absolute compliance with.<br />
<br />
Get it?<br />
<br />
No, I don't think most of us get it. If you're the exception, then that's awesome! May your tribe increase.<br />
<br />
Remember the context. This is the Philippine Military Academy where everything moves in precision and where everyone is expected to have the brains (PMA has the same standard as U.P.) to understand ... and follow ... every rule expected from an officer and a gentleman or lady (yes there are cadettes there too, for far longer than Gabriela would want you to believe).<br />
<br />
After all, this is the training ground for future generals! Get that?<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhY8D9MlQQ4MSADnRh14MQHvhjjjfBhnyenbxHjMCNk9cF4-M__xCBmcQDxXWqxkwTwzIsiV4RTkvmlBKJvJqT2wIx0szLpeu0g3iypaeA5ABUkjbBzJiBa2WeHdy6XaHiQ7V0ulVoLnzQ/s1600/2718424673_be61a4e1b3_z.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhY8D9MlQQ4MSADnRh14MQHvhjjjfBhnyenbxHjMCNk9cF4-M__xCBmcQDxXWqxkwTwzIsiV4RTkvmlBKJvJqT2wIx0szLpeu0g3iypaeA5ABUkjbBzJiBa2WeHdy6XaHiQ7V0ulVoLnzQ/s1600/2718424673_be61a4e1b3_z.jpg" width="260" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The contemplative life in the Catholic Seminary<br />
Image by <a href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/jobarracuda/" target="_blank">Jojo Pensica</a></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
Most of us expect such rules to be compassionate. By saying compassionate, we actually mean tolerant. Not the PMA, sorry, especially when it comes to the Honor Code. If you find that statement cold blooded, then just accept the fact that this is the PMA and most of us have never been to this institution, nor in any institution that even remotely resembles it.<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
You'd laugh at me for saying this. But the only institution that I can say that may somehow resemble how life is in PMA is the Catholic Seminary. In the seminary, everything works in Swiss-time precision too .... from the time you wake up to the time you sleep.<br />
<br />
You can argue that the similarities end there. You may be right. That only emphasizes the fact that PMA is PMA and there are things there that are simply different from what we, civilians, know to be the norm.<br />
<br />
But what makes PMA different, as far as the Honor Code is concerned, is *not* beyond comprehension. This is an institution that trains leaders with character. Look at these cadets from the perspective of the entire military establishment.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center; width: 400px;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGN_3lszR7z1ZaXSEkvmAxFc4Ydq_zdzQCgtVwD0BiLm3mb-vJj6UVlyMC-7p6rEjLEtp7TU7HNmDubcvcB0EcS9MW18b2Ahkzi1KlVQdWW6-PWexH-vonp09PFZ8W02fr8T1r5ag3b2c/s1600/1517499_696437927075741_1460378337_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="297" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGN_3lszR7z1ZaXSEkvmAxFc4Ydq_zdzQCgtVwD0BiLm3mb-vJj6UVlyMC-7p6rEjLEtp7TU7HNmDubcvcB0EcS9MW18b2Ahkzi1KlVQdWW6-PWexH-vonp09PFZ8W02fr8T1r5ag3b2c/s1600/1517499_696437927075741_1460378337_n.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">What sort of officers would you want to be in command over men with long rifles, heavy artillery, battle ships and war planes? Would you want a tolerant institution to train these officers?<br />
Image from <a href="https://www.facebook.com/ModernizePhilippineNavy/photos/a.198146146904924.61420.198144786905060/696437927075741/?type=1&theater" target="_blank">Modernize the Philippine Navy FB Page</a></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
To these future officers will fall the responsibility over high caliber guns and ammunitions, artillery, battle ships and fighter planes. You'd want people who hold these things in their hands not just love for country, but also discipline and character.<br />
<br />
It's why the least you'd want in PMA is a tolerant institution. What you'd want are cadets who follow rules. What you'd want are cadets who do not lie, cheat, steal, nor tolerate others who do.<br />
<br />
<b><i>Of course, what we all want, once these cadets graduate and transition into regular officers of the armed forces, are gentlemen and ladies who do not lie, cheat, steal, nor tolerate others who do.</i></b><br />
<br />
How they embrace the Honor Code after graduation, I must however admit, is another story altogether. But as <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kesuke_Miyagi" target="_blank">Mr. Kesuke Miyagi</a> (<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Karate_Kid,_Part_III" target="_blank">Karate Kid</a>) says, if the roots are strong, the bonsai will live.Sidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00041646426133904759noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8334184816787118438.post-10802334222888467212011-11-15T08:41:00.001+08:002011-11-15T10:24:22.375+08:00A Slice of Working at HomeI work at home. Many people still couldn’t get what that means. I’m tired of explaining. Now, I just let them think whatever they want to think and not give a damn. Oh, how life has become simpler since then.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center; width: 400px;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEkfLLa_4-Od42WiBEV2bwTC-xdG9K9A5rHylBoV9J1-4aXY68x5OkGBQlZExq4JQFGjB2TDIb9Koj6_zQkK3_9-egRSj_hN0noM9YahcnCoi5JYifnJTrPdwBXrh7qVBfQmDOcEOt5s0/s1600/work-at-home.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEkfLLa_4-Od42WiBEV2bwTC-xdG9K9A5rHylBoV9J1-4aXY68x5OkGBQlZExq4JQFGjB2TDIb9Koj6_zQkK3_9-egRSj_hN0noM9YahcnCoi5JYifnJTrPdwBXrh7qVBfQmDOcEOt5s0/s400/work-at-home.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Working at home, in squatting position, in front of TV and with kids running all around</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
Neighbors thought I work nights somewhere. That’s because they see me at home during the day, wearing shorts and tending my garden. My eyes go up each time someone mentions I work nights. But I have learned to cope with the punishment by saying, “Yeah! See you around.”<br />
<br />
<a name='more'></a>One morning, a neighbor who operates a store called my wife. The neighbor was following up the empty family-sized soft drink bottles (Yeah, I still live in this kind of neighborhood – when you buy soft drinks, you’re expected to return the empty bottle). So I sprang up from bed at 9am, went to the store and explained to the neighbor that I already returned the bottles two weeks earlier.<br />
<br />
The neighbor later called my wife to apologize. She said she should have been mindful that I worked nights. She felt guilty that I had to go to her before going to bed.<br />
<br />
Duh! I told my wife to tell the neighbor it was ok. I was used to it.<br />
<br />
It’s not that I want to hide the fact that I work at home with my laptop all day (and night, oh yes). Letting them think what they think makes life much simpler.<br />
<br />
They think I work nights? Fine. You see, they do see me leave home once a week at 5pm. Do I have to explain to them that I attend a Rotary Club meeting? I have the right, but not the obligation, to tell them that, right?<br />
<br />
(Whow! Saying that felt good. I saw that line in the Terms and conditions of Clickbank.)<br />
<br />
I mean, what would they really expect me to say? “No, I’m just going to the Rotary meeting. I don’t work nights.” They would certainly follow that up by asking, “Oh, is that so? Where do you work these days?”<br />
<br />
Even if I would be honest to them and tell them I’m a Virtual Worker, it doesn’t help! It has happened before and someone would certainly ask again, “What’s a Virtual Worker?” Then I have to explain again. Before I know it, I’m late for my appointment.<br />
<br />
So, not anymore.<br />
<br />
When somebody sympathetically greets me on the street at 5pm with, “Going to work?” I now always say, “Yeah! See you around.” With that, they’re happy and I’m happy.Sidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00041646426133904759noreply@blogger.com0Calamba City, Philippines14.1876712 121.125082514.1260942 121.0461185 14.2492482 121.2040465tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8334184816787118438.post-62942472619394966322011-10-31T08:35:00.000+08:002011-11-15T10:24:04.959+08:00I’ve blogged passionately about parenting stuff in 2008 and 2009. Then it stopped.<br />
<br />
Today, 30 months later, the blog’s still here and I’m not. Well, until a few moments ago, that is.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center; width: 400px;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6xB1jy_AA-zqfXyk4Y3CaCsA3ACY7qigCejpB-rP4wdZDA8TGEM9igDzlEnOWoMgUP57ZjcGLKb_-otN5l8PJdBr34t9ZCTz3tJUFEAuKMHpKqstQf1jX6PO_e9-JVh0g4ggJcHkoFYk/s1600/the_stillness_of_chaos.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="308" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6xB1jy_AA-zqfXyk4Y3CaCsA3ACY7qigCejpB-rP4wdZDA8TGEM9igDzlEnOWoMgUP57ZjcGLKb_-otN5l8PJdBr34t9ZCTz3tJUFEAuKMHpKqstQf1jX6PO_e9-JVh0g4ggJcHkoFYk/s400/the_stillness_of_chaos.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The stillness of chaos by <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/darwinbell/" target="_blank">Darwin Bell</a></td></tr>
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<br />
What happened in between was a story by itself. We long for the day when we would tell the world about it. Suffice it to say at this moment that never had our marriage and family been as strong, oozing with love and full of adventures.<br />
<br />
<a name='more'></a>It’s great to see this old blog like a home I haven’t been to for the last 30 months. From this day on, the blogging goes on.<br />
<br />
Far in contrast to where I was when I started this blog, I’m now a work-at-home Dad and my wife is a work-at-home Mom. Our kids are study-at-home kids (thanks to the homeschooling system). Life is absolutely good, eh?<br />
<br />
I’m typing this blog at 3:22pm of a Monday. Well, incidentally, today is a holiday, but this could have been any other Monday and I’d be blogging at this hour of the day and in this day of the week. Life is absolutely good, eh?<br />
<br />
As I blog, I’m listening to instrumental music by Yanni while wearing shorts and T-shirt. I can hear my kids playing downstairs while I can smell what my wife’s cooking. Tomorrow, we will be off to a long drive and back the next day. Life is absolutely good, eh?<br />
<br />
In the latter half of the past 30 months I have share our story to selected groups. I have received my share of thanks from people who got inspired by our story.<br />
<br />
Well, it’s an ongoing story and we would love to share each episode to people.<br />
<br />
After all, we draw our inspiration from other people too. Inspiration is an energy that we receive and send. By doing so, we draw the essence of life closer to ourselves.<br />
<br />
What did I just say?<br />
<br />
Well, having just drifted to unintelligible words is a sign for me to stop tapping my keyboard and click the ‘Publish’ button.<br />
<br />
Have a great day!Sidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00041646426133904759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8334184816787118438.post-20325033918880906752011-03-10T07:03:00.000+08:002011-03-10T07:03:36.838+08:00That was a wake up call, indeed ...A homeschool colleague named Oliver was following this blog and I didn't realize it. I ran across him in a homeschool gathering. Then he asked, "What's up? I've not read anything new in your blog."<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1179/1371111259_f8a06f0da7.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="265" src="http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1179/1371111259_f8a06f0da7.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px;">Aluminum Apple Keyboard by <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/nez/">Andrew*</a></span></span></span></td></tr>
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That was a wake up call. I had not updated this blog regularly as I used to. For a time, I thought that was, "Ok." Deep inside me, something said, "No, Marvin, that's not Ok. You're out of integrity here."<br />
<br />
Bloggers like me put up blogs like this with a vision. In my case, I've been envisioning this blog to be read by fathers like me. There's just a lot of stuff out there that fathers could munch during breaks, to make them better parents of Filipino kids, especially in the information age.<br />
<br />
<a name='more'></a>But why would fathers be interested? We don't usually gather around to talk about family, do we? It's not in our genes, is it?<br />
<br />
Neither is that in my genes. In fact, part of the reason why I put this blog is to "force" myself to think parenting, parenting, parenting. I do want to become a good husband and father.<br />
<br />
But that does not take away the fact that we want to be good providers more than being the charming Daddy. We gravitate more towards making tons of money, politics, sports . . . you know what I mean, don't you?<br />
<br />
Making money was exactly what I was running after the last 24 months or so. It was the primary thing in my mind, even while doing my best to become a charming husband and Daddy.<br />
<br />
Here's an account of what I've been up to . . .<br />
<br />
<b>Coaching</b><br />
<br />
I studied coaching and have been coaching some clients. One of the key success factors in coaching is the ability to establish clarity in the coachee. I realized I was good in that.<br />
<br />
That was exactly why after coaching myself, I realized something very clearly in mind. In coaching, I WAS the BUSINESS! I thought that if something would happen to me, what would my family eat?<br />
<br />
That scared the hell out of me. Coaching was good. I wanted to be a coach. I wanted the skills. But coaching was not the business I was looking for.<br />
<br />
I wanted a business that would make a lot of money, expandable and transferrable. Coaching didn't fit the criteria, but I needed the coaching skills to coach myself and my contractors or employees later on.<br />
<br />
Ironic? That's how life works.<br />
<br />
I loooooove coaching! Don't get me wrong. Someday I'll be coaching left and right, you'll see. But I wouldn't be doing it because I need the money.<br />
<br />
<br />
<b>Advertising</b><br />
<br />
For 12 months, I was pursuing with a partner a very innovative idea of selling advertisement space on placemats and tray liners. Nobody wanted it. Period.<br />
<br />
<br />
<b>Blogging for Money</b><br />
<br />
This, to me, was the perfect business model. Income could keep flowing in, even if you didn't touch your blog for years.<br />
<div><br />
</div><div>But to make tons of money, I had to be in a profitable niche, which may not match with my passion. I thought, I didn't mind. But it was simply difficult to blog consistently on something you were not passionate about.</div><div><br />
</div><div>I didn't quit on blogging. I simply realized it needed more preparation than I initially thought. This required the four T's ... time, talent, topics and traffic! </div><div><br />
</div><div>By this time I realized I needed some quicker source of cash, so that I could pursue money blogging with peace of mind. I had the talent, I had the topics, but I didn't have the time. In that scenario, let's not discuss traffic.</div><div><br />
</div><div>But I looooove blogging. What you're reading now is a blog. I love writing. I love seeing comments (Lord, let there be more of them). I love interacting with people about life, through blogs. One day I would be the most wanted blogger in the Asia-Pacific.</div><div><br />
</div><div>(NOTE: raisingfilipnoboys.com isn't money blogging for me, notwithstanding the ads that you see around this ... trust me on this ... the ads are not making money at all I am considering removing them altogether)</div><div><br />
</div><div><br />
</div><div><b>Real Estate</b></div><div><br />
</div><div>I love real estate . . . but, you gotta have time for it. As I said earlier, I didn't have the time. I got to work on my cash flow very fast! As soon as I had sufficient money to enroll in cashflow groups, buy Starbucks Coffee and pay the jeepney for my trip to the site . . . I thought I gotta go slow.</div><div><br />
</div><div>But I loooooove real estate! It's a great money accelerator. One day, I'd be flipping properties left and right, and you'd think I was simply taking a walk in your plush subdivision.</div><div><br />
</div><div><br />
</div><div><b>Social Media </b><br />
<div><br />
Studied social media and how to make money from it. I realized internet marketing was really what I wanted to do . . . then I thought, "what's my product? Think! Think! Think!"</div><div><br />
</div><div>Ahhhhh, I thought . . . I'm going to be an information marketer and use social media to promote it. ... BUT ... this takes time to really take off and I need cash for my family now.</div><div><br />
</div><div>I looooooove social media marketing. Someday I'd be deep into it, you'd see.</div><div><br />
</div><div>In the meantime, tell me, what product would you want to buy that you would love to see being promoted right in your own Facebook News Feed. Tell me, pleeeease!</div><div><br />
</div><div>That was a serious question, by the way. One day I would find out and you wouldn't know what hit you. You would part with your money with a big smile.</div><div><br />
</div><div><br />
</div><div><b>Virtual Assistant</b></div><div><br />
</div><div>This was what Oliver and I talked lengthily about in our last encounter. I studied being a virtual assistant to keep cash flowing in, while having the flexibility to pursue my dream enterprises. It was here that I was making some solid progress in terms of cash flow.</div><div><br />
</div><div>I'd talk more about it in my next post. Stay tuned!</div><div><br />
</div><div><br />
<br />
<br />
--<br />
<br />
Marvin Macatol<br />
<a href="http://www.raisingfilipinoboys.com/">http://www.raisingfilipinoboys.com</a></div></div>Sidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00041646426133904759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8334184816787118438.post-21970029280382278072011-01-22T19:51:00.003+08:002011-01-23T07:40:50.118+08:00Our Fantastic 2011 Family VacationThe last two weeks have been hectic and exciting for my family. Sponsors in my big family took me, my wife and my kids to a two-week big family vacation that included trips in Cebu, Bohol, Camiguin, Bukidnon and Cagayan de Oro City. <br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center; width: 400px;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5043/5377648872_2647d501c0.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5043/5377648872_2647d501c0.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Some of the places we visted</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
I have summarized the places we visited in the diagram above. It was a mix of air, land and sea travel. There were lots of sight-seeing, fun photos, swimming and snorkeling. I'll be blogging about each of them in greater detail in future posts. <br />
<br />
<a name='more'></a>Though it was a fast-paced vacation, it was very fulfilling. We were able to experience a lot of things as a big family with the limited time we had. When we arrived home, our skins were darker but our smiles were brighter. <br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center; width: 400px;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5045/5374749800_6e6765f4e0.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5045/5374749800_6e6765f4e0.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My wife took this photo of me and my kids at NAIA Terminal 3 upon our arrival</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
Too bad I was not feeling well since Day 1 of the vacation. But I was able to carry my body well enough to enjoy it. Others in the family got colds and fever too. Maybe I brought the virus to them :)<br />
<br />
Anyhow, the vacation has given me more than just time with my big family. It has also given me a fresh look at the beauty of the country, the Philippines.<br />
<br />
--<br />
<br />
Marvin Macatol<br />
<a href="http://www.raisingfilipinoboys.com/">http://www.raisingfilipinoboys.com</a>Sidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00041646426133904759noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8334184816787118438.post-49399529998589199222010-11-28T08:17:00.007+08:002011-01-22T20:56:27.300+08:00Jump! And the Net Will Appear"Jump! And the Net Will Appear" -- That's the title of a book I read a few years back in time. It's also a title that roughly describes what I just went through the last two months. That explains a pause in my posting.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3261/3152875867_148b09f57d.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3261/3152875867_148b09f57d.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"Star Jump" by <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/stuant63/">Stuart Anthony</a></td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
<b>To cut my recent story short</b>, I have seen that a business venture that I have spent time on has not been working. It has been either that the business concept has been the problem, or our marketing approach has failed or perhaps I simply wasn't suited for it. I don't know. I have simply acknowledged that I need to move on.<br />
<br />
<a name='more'></a><iframe align="left" frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=christfather-20&o=1&p=8&l=bpl&asins=1577312309&fc1=000000&IS2=1&lt1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr" style="height: 245px; padding-right: 10px; padding-top: 5px; width: 131px;"></iframe><br />
That has not been an easy decision. It has involved letting go of a lot of things and adopting lots of things new. While being in the stage of transition, it has been like in the middle of a sea. You wonder which island in the horizon would welcome you, and which ones are inhabited by cannibals.<br />
<br />
<b>So, I just followed my heart!</b><br />
<br />
As it is, I'm aggressively studying online marketing techniques and getting online jobs. This action, strangely, led me back to real estate investing. I stopped doing this four years ago after a well-publicized incident.<br />
<br />
After being hit by a hammer on my head, suddenly I see no reason why I should continue cowering in fear instead of fighting back and renew my bid for success in the real estate business. This incidentally would require expertise in online marketing. So, go figure.<br />
<br />
Now, I am doing real estate with Trace Trajano as my mentor. I am participating in an Apprentice Challenge with a team of young and aggressive partners. For the online marketing component of this venture, I have Jomar Hilario as my mentor.<br />
<br />
Here's our Facebook Page: <a href="http://facebook.com/manilahomes">facebook.com/manilahomes</a><br />
<br />
Here's our Website: <a href="http://homesforsalemetromanila.blogspot.com/">homesforsalemetromanila.blogspot.com</a><br />
<br />
<b>At the end of the day, this is all about me and my family.</b> If I have to set the right example for my kids, I must pursue my passion so that they would pursue theirs. If I have to achieve my dreams for my family, then I must be doing things that I'm fully passionate about.<br />
<br />
<b>At this stage of my life I feel that I am guided by the Spirit.</b> This is the same Spirit that tells me to stay the course, to be patient, to keep my faith in my generous Creator and to have fun, for I am already walking along the path He has prepared for me. So indeed I walk and the path appears.<br />
<br />
Or, as the book I read says, I jump and the net will appear.Sidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00041646426133904759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8334184816787118438.post-85157697876933147582010-11-05T22:37:00.001+08:002010-11-05T22:43:16.303+08:00Parenting Tips and the Ways to Bring Up an Awesome GrownupParenting Tips and the Ways to Bring Up an Awesome Grownup<br />
By Chloe Bilboa Platinum Quality Author<br />
<br />
It might look like a classic Western flick, but tots will involve you in standoffs, OK Corral-style. Effective parenting advice for youngsters 2 to 12 years of age would include you bringing up excellent children who'll succeed during their grownup lives, along with you surviving to tell the tale. It is a difficult task with no instruction manual, but seeing your toddlers mature into wonderful individuals will provide you with profound happiness in the long run.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2547/3775976810_e7d903d8d0.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2547/3775976810_e7d903d8d0.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/lomoholga/">http://www.flickr.com/photos/lomoholga/</a></td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
<a name='more'></a>In modern times, child rearing demands considerably less parenting and even more of creating friendships among mums and dads and their young girls and boys. It's because most mothers and fathers are scared of their youngsters becoming angry and developing a damaging notion of them. The truth is that with regard to raising young children, there might be occasions when your little children aren't gonna like you, and they definitely will loathe you for punishing them for their detrimental behavior. Nonetheless, take action; they're going to eventually respect you for it.<br />
<br />
<br />
The boundary in between mothers and fathers and young boys and girls would be traversed when they're around two years of age. During this age, kids may realize that they could test their boundaries a little bit. Plenty of kids are headstrong, which could bring about great issues whenever they simply don't wish to follow you. Still, it's your task and also duty as a mom or dad to set boundaries. Young kids might behave as though they don't like those limits, but don't let them trick you; in reality, little ones desire them. They have to learn the guidelines through which they must follow. When they do not have those rules, they'll be confounded or set their own personal regulations.<br />
<br />
Tots are great since compared to grown people, they are extremely frank. But it is also the dads' and moms' duty to educate their kids to always be respectful. Seeing a hefty woman in the street and telling her that she's fat is vicious. Sure, she is heavy, but pointing that out candidly will make her feel bad. Show children in a favorable way that periodically, it's far better to be kind rather than honest.<br />
<br />
If you get the habit of regularly purchasing items for your toddlers every time you are away from home, recognize that they'll have that expectation while they develop; it's a learned behavior. If this custom is not discontinued quickly, your little children will certainly consider it an ordinary occurrence, and can be aggravated when you do not gratify their expectation. They might also throw a temper tantrum since they don't realise that you can't spoil them with treats. A good way to wear your tots off this particular expectation would be to provide them with a daily allowance. Aside from educating them about the literal and figurative value of money, they will also discover the magnitude of having the capacity to purchase whatever they want from their personal money. You can also talk to their grandparents to refrain from pampering your daughters and sons, but don't forget that they have to have much more leeway.<br />
<br />
Educating your kids to be grateful is obviously a good thing. Wanting more can be fine in select cases, but your sons or daughters have to find the fine line between gratefulness and greed. Teach them to be grateful for the things they have and be thankful to other people.<br />
<br />
Sharing is really a beautiful gift to illustrate to youngsters. Whether you have 1 or ten, it is important to make them learn that it's a good thing to give away what you can spare. Young boys and girls who share whatever they could could be better equipped for grownup life versus young girls and boys who exclaim 'Mine!' all the time. Selfishness is not a great characteristic to have, and children must discover that early on.<br />
<br />
Lastly, show your kids that they're loved. Letting them know that they're dearly loved regardless of their mistakes as well as disadvantages will cause them to become much more emboldened to go after their desires as well as deal with their fears. The self-belief that they'll get could last a lifetime.<br />
<br />
Don't struggle with child behavior problems any longer. Sign up for the FREE Good Child Guide Newsletter and discover the parenting tips you need to have a happy, peaceful household.<br />
<br />
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Chloe_Bilboa<br />
<br />
- - -<br />
<br />
NOTE FROM MARVIN<br />
<br />
Chloe Bilboa wrote a very fine article. I find these lines most fascinating:<br />
<blockquote>Educating your kids to be grateful is obviously a good thing. Wanting more can be fine in select cases, but your sons or daughters have to find the fine line between gratefulness and greed. Teach them to be grateful for the things they have and be thankful to other people.</blockquote>A more profound reason for heeding this direction in parenting presented itself to me in the seminars I have attended. There I learned that gratitude is actually a beacon for more. How true, isn't it? Don't we get more of the things we are absolutely thankful for? The reverse is actually also true. We get more of the things we loath.<br />
<br />
But why is that? It's because in reality, we get more of the things that are dominant in our minds. When we are grateful, we fill our minds with positive things. When we loath, we fill it up with toxic stuff. You would rather train your children to fill their minds with positive things, wouldn't you?Sidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00041646426133904759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8334184816787118438.post-10806183938403512962010-09-22T06:00:00.098+08:002010-09-22T06:00:03.632+08:00Raising Kids -- Surprisingly Smart Parenting Tips for Dads and MomsHats off to these smart parenting tips for new mums. Here they go (emphasis mine):<br />
<blockquote><ol><li>You won't need half the crap that you bring to the hospital with you. And it will be a pain in the butt to carry it all home.</li>
<li>There are tons of stupid baby gadgets out there. Don't get suckered into things like baby wipes warmers, knee-pads for crawlers, etc.</li>
<li>It will be much harder than you ever expected, and so much more rewarding than you ever expected.</li>
<li><b>Let your partner help. Insist that your partner helps</b>.</li>
<li>Even with a newborn, you need time alone. Give the baby to your partner, a grandparent, anything, and get out of the house for an hour, ALONE! Get a pedicure, buy a book, or just go grocery shopping by yourself, at least once a month.</li>
</ol>Source: <a href="http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20100817140843AAH7zEw">What advice would you give to a new mum about raising kids? at Yahoo! Answers</a></blockquote>What I like most about these tips is that it says, <i>"Let your partner help. Insist that your partner helps."</i> This is a cool call for husbands (like me) to help in parenting, isn't it?<br />
<br />
<a name='more'></a>So now we turn to Dads for some tips on how to help.<br />
<br />
A site suggests eight ways that both Dad and Mom can bond with the child together:<br />
<blockquote><ol><li>participating together in labor and delivery</li>
<li>feeding (breast or bottle); sometimes dad forms a special bond with baby when handling a middle-of-the-night feeding and diaper change</li>
<li>reading or singing to baby</li>
<li>sharing a bath with baby</li>
<li>mirroring baby's movements</li>
<li>mimicking baby's cooing and other vocalizations — the first efforts at communication</li>
<li>using a front baby carrier during routine activities</li>
<li>letting baby feel the different textures of dad's face</li>
</ol>Source: <a href="http://kidshealth.org/parent/pregnancy_newborn/communicating/bonding.html#a_Bonding With Daddy">Bonding with Daddy at kidshealth.org</a></blockquote><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/photos-ak-ash1/v240/197/89/694386339/n694386339_905858_9718.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/photos-ak-ash1/v240/197/89/694386339/n694386339_905858_9718.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I took this photo of my daughter on her birth day, and I mean the day<br />
she was born. I was allowed to go inside the delivery room.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
The only things I have not done in the above list was to share a bath with the baby (#4) and to breastfeed the child (#2, LOL). I bottle-fed the eldest when he was an infant. The second child did not go through bottle-feeding, but that's another interesting story.<br />
<br />
Some of you might think I did nothing else but help out. Let's put it this way: Yeah I had to sacrifice some sleep and social activities to help out, but I was as busy (or maybe even busier) than you at the office, volunteer service work and blogging.<br />
<br />
At the end of the day, it's a question of what's important to you the moment the door of your home. On several occasions upon coming home, I stop at the gate before entering to say a prayer: May I leave the office outside of this gate, just as I leave home every time I go to work.Sidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00041646426133904759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8334184816787118438.post-68151956367326578532010-09-15T06:00:00.122+08:002010-09-15T06:00:02.588+08:00Raising Kids and Swapping Parenting Tips? Five Reasons Why This is CoolI pray this initiative to swap tips on raising kids through a magazine in Sioux Falls succeeds. Every parent needs tips. Come on, we exchange tips about golf all the time. Why not about raising kids? Doing that right may mean far more to us in our last breath than a series of holes-in-one.<br />
<blockquote><b>New Magazine Offers Resources For Parents</b><br />
<br />
SIOUX FALLS, SD - Online groups and play dates help parents swap tips about raising kids, and now Sioux Falls parents can find that same kind of advice in a magazine. With children come questions, and the answers can sometimes be hard to find.<br />
<br />
"We really don't have anything right now that we can get lots of good information about parenting, tips, lots of advice from other parents, which is hard," mother Leigh Jerzak said. But a group of local parents hopes to change that.<br />
<br />
Source: <a href="http://www.keloland.com/News/NewsDetail6371.cfm?Id=103890" target="new">keloland.com</a></blockquote>Gosh, how true. We have marriage and family gurus filling up our channels. Tips from other parents are as good. I remember a movie about someone closely following the advise of a popular parenting counselor. Later, he discovered that the counselor had no child and never had one. What a funny story.<br />
<br />
<a name='more'></a>So, here are five good reasons why swapping parenting tips about raising kids is a great idea.<br />
<ol><li>Tips need not be perfect, but you're close to certain that they're grounded on actual experience. So they make you think well about your experience to check if the tip applies to you.</li>
<li>You can find absurd tips that other parents endorse. So, they make you question your own assumptions.</li>
<li>You find some tips are wanting. So, the forum encourages you to contribute your own ideas and engage in productive discussion.</li>
<li>As you check out all the tips, you'll see some interesting patterns. So, you'll end up gathering some interesting principles that apply well to your situation.</li>
<li>As you examine the contributions of other parents, you'll see some like-minded ones among them or some under similar situations as you have. So, you'll end up making new friends and become part of a "mastermind group"</li>
</ol>You think you'll get these benefits from a "guru"? Maybe yes. Maybe not. What do you think? I just happen to think that mastermind groups composed of dedicated parents are much more potent.<br />
<br />
What's a mastermind group? Businesses use mastermind groups, but the principle isn't just for business! It's for anything, including parenting.<br />
<blockquote>The concept of the Mastermind Group was formally introduced by Napoleon Hill in the early 1900's. In his timeless classic, "Think And Grow Rich" he wrote about the Mastermind principle as:<br />
<br />
"The coordination of knowledge and effort of two or more people, who work toward a definite purpose, in the spirit of harmony."<br />
<br />
Source: <a href="http://www.passionforbusiness.com/articles/mastermind-group.htm" target="new">What is a mastermind group at passionforbusiness.com</a></blockquote>What benefits can you derive from a mastermind group?<br />
<blockquote>1. You have a group of people available to help you succeed.<br />
2. You get the benefit of differing perspectives, input and feedback.<br />
3. Your mastermind team can bring resources and connections to the table you might not have had on your own.<br />
4. You receive accountability and inspiration from the group, thus enabling you to maintain focus in achieving your goals.<br />
<br />
Source: <a href="http://www.feelgoodgirl.com/node/23" target="new">What is a Mastermind Group and How Can it Help You Succeed? at feelgoodgirl.com</a></blockquote>Raising kids, parenting tips and mastermind parent groups: aren't they a potent combination? I'm having goose bumps just thinking about it.Sidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00041646426133904759noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8334184816787118438.post-17486791299524469342010-09-08T06:00:00.136+08:002010-09-08T06:00:00.796+08:00Homeschooling -- Building a Family Who LovesA fundamental homeschooling attribute found expression in one of the blogs I stumbled upon. Building a family was mentioned in the third paragraph of the Guest Family Homeschool Mission Statement:<br />
<blockquote>Give generously to each other as we honor others above ourselves, building a family who loves, encourages and enjoys one another. As a family we will give generously to others, instilling a purpose that is outward and sacrificial in God’s love.<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Source: </span><a href="http://aisforanteater.com/?p=291" target="new"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><i>Waiting for Perfect</i> @ aisforanteater.com</span></span></a></blockquote>One of the most common objections encountered by parents who go into homeschooling is this: "How about the <i>socialization</i> of your kid?" To answer that question, here's a picture for immediate gratification:<br />
<br />
<a name='more'></a><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/32938112@N05/3161544218/" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" title="02112008629 by Marvin Macatol, on Flickr" target="new"><img alt="02112008629" height="300" src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3116/3161544218_8e94b56561.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Kids socialize first with parents and young siblings. No peer pressure.<br />
No bully. Just love and caring, and lots of fun together.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>A homeschooling child doesn't know who a "classmate" is nor how a "desk" feels like. He doesn't ride a school bus. He doesn't need to leave home. He's homeschooled. His social circle is his family.<br />
<br />
What is socialization by the way?<br />
<blockquote>Socialization is a term used by sociologists, social psychologists, anthropologists, politicians and educationalists to refer to the process of inheriting norms, customs and ideologies. It may provide the individual with the skills and habits necessary for participating within their own society; a society itself is formed through a plurality of shared norms, customs, values, traditions, social roles, symbols and languages. Socialization is thus ‘the means by which social and cultural continuity are attained’.<br />
<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Socialization" target="new"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Source: wikipedia.com</span></a></blockquote>Homeschooling is more than just "another educational system" but a philosophy by itself. It reinforces the age old concept of society as a plurality of "shared norms, customs, values, traditions..." and that it strengthens the role of the family as the basic unit of society.<br />
<blockquote>In human context, a family (from Latin: familiare) is an exclusive group of people who share a close relationship —a unit typically (or "traditionally") composed of a mated couple and their dependent children in co-residence.<br />
Source: <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Family" target="new">wikipedia.com</a></blockquote>Homeschooling snatches the "prime time" of a child's day and keeps that time within, mixing family and education in one fun and loving experience. He still has friends outside home, but his main social group is the home.<br />
<br />
<i>But how do homeschooled do when they grow up? Won't they become anti-social?</i> If a child's experience with socialization is fun and loving, would you expect him to be anti-social when he grows up? What do you think?<br />
<br />
Let me quote here <a href="http://www.squidoo.com/William-Bennett" target="new">Dr. Bill Bennett (former US Secretary of Education under President Ronald Reagan)</a> as cited by Dr. James Dobson in his book Bringing Up Boys<iframe align="left" frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=christfather-20&o=1&p=8&l=bpl&asins=1414304501&fc1=000000&IS2=1&lt1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr" style="align: left; height: 245px; padding-right: 10px; padding-top: 5px; width: 131px;"></iframe>:<br />
<blockquote>The kids in public schools score, appropriately enough, at the fiftieth percentile on tests of academic competence. In other words, their combined score is "average." Homeschoolers, however, are at the eighty-seventh percentile---for about one-sixth the cost. These homeschool kids are getting into colleges that their parents want them to attend, and the program produces a high degree of parental and child satisfaction.<br />
<br />
One other very interesting thing we've just found out about these wonderful kids is that they tend to be active in political affairs. They tend to be joiners. They tend to be people who are engaged in civic activities---just the opposite of what people have said.<br />
<br />
Source: <i>Dr. James Dobson (2001),</i> Bringing Up Boys, p226</blockquote><div style="text-align: right;"><br />
</div>If you're contemplating about homeschooling your children or if you have questions about homeschooling as a concept that you wish to be addressed, whether it's for your child or not, you can post your questions here or send me an email at [marvin at coachmarvin dot com].<br />
<br />
<br />
RELATED POSTS:<br />
<a href="http://www.raisingfilipinoboys.com/2010/03/my-son-just-graduated-from-prep-in.html">My Son Just Graduated from Prep in Homeschool</a><br />
<a href="http://www.raisingfilipinoboys.com/2009/04/ten-heart-shaking-insights-from-james_13.html">Ten Heart-Shaking Insights from James Dobson</a>Sidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00041646426133904759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8334184816787118438.post-84515468954286652032010-09-03T06:00:00.151+08:002010-09-03T06:00:01.233+08:00Learn Filipino Book for Filipinos and Foreigners AlikeThis <b>Learn Filipino<iframe align="left" frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=christfather-20&o=1&p=8&l=bpl&asins=193295600X&fc1=000000&IS2=1&lt1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr" style="align: left; height: 245px; padding-right: 10px; padding-top: 5px; width: 131px;"></iframe></b> book available in Amazon is a fascinating find. Being a non-Tagalog native speaker myself, I see the importance of this book.<br />
<br />
It's not just for foreigners. It is also for Filipinos who don't speak "Filipino." Yes, there are many Filipinos in the Philippines who do not speak "Filipino" as their native language. They need this book as much as foreigners.<br />
<br />
How come? You might say.<br />
<br />
In the latest (1987) constitution of the Philippines, the word "Filipino" got a new meaning. From then on it also referred to the "national language" of the Philippines.<br />
<br />
The thing was, the national language up until 1987 used to be Tagalog. It was spoken by people in Metro Manila and adjacent provinces. So, the "Filipino" language referred to by the constitution was actually Tagalog, but with words incorporated from other Philippine dialects.<br />
<br />
<a name='more'></a>For example, the Cebuano word "liso" was incorporated into the "Filipino" language to refer to the seed (of plants). The Tagalog word for "seed" was "buto," which also referred to bones.<br />
<br />
I look forward to the day when they would incorporate the Cebuano word "mingaw" into Filipino. The Cebuano word "mingaw" expresses a longingness for someone. In English, we say "we miss you." In Cebuano we translate that to "gi-mingaw mi nimo." In Tagalog, we translate that to "nami-miss namin kayo."<br />
<br />
See the word "miss" in the Tagalog translation? That's an English word. The word "mingaw" has no Tagalog counterpart.<br />
<br />
How many languages are there in the Philippines and how many speak them? Here's an interesting table from <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Languages_of_the_Philippines">Wikipedia</a> based on the Year 2000 census of the National Statistics Office:<br />
<br />
<table border="1" bordercolor="gray" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="0"><tbody>
<tr><td width="250">Language</td><td align="right" width="200">No. of Native Speakers</td><td width="150"><div style="text-align: right;">% of Population</div></td></tr>
<tr><td>Tagalog</td><td align="right">22,000,000</td><td align="right">28.34%</td></tr>
<tr><td>Cebuano</td><td align="right">20,000,000</td><td align="right">25.76%</td></tr>
<tr><td>Ilokano</td><td align="right">7,700,000</td><td align="right">9.92%</td></tr>
<tr><td>Hiligaynon</td><td align="right">7,000,000</td><td align="right">9.02%</td></tr>
<tr><td>Waray-Waray</td><td align="right">3,100,000</td><td align="right">3.99%</td></tr>
<tr><td>Kapampangan</td><td align="right">2,900,000</td><td align="right">3.74%</td></tr>
<tr><td>Chavacano (Spanish Creole)</td><td align="right">2,500,000</td><td align="right">3.22%</td></tr>
<tr><td>Northern Bicol</td><td align="right">2,500,000</td><td align="right">3.22%</td></tr>
<tr><td>Pangasinan</td><td align="right">2,434,086</td><td align="right">3.14%</td></tr>
<tr><td>Southern Bicol</td><td align="right">1,200,000</td><td align="right">1.55%</td></tr>
<tr><td>Maranao</td><td align="right">1,150,000</td><td align="right">1.48%</td></tr>
<tr><td>Maguindanao</td><td align="right">1,100,000</td><td align="right">1.42%</td></tr>
<tr><td>Kinaray-a</td><td align="right">1,051,000</td><td align="right">1.35%</td></tr>
<tr><td>Tausug</td><td align="right">1,022,000</td><td align="right">1.32%</td></tr>
<tr><td>Surigaonon</td><td align="right">600,000</td><td align="right">0.77%</td></tr>
<tr><td>Masbateño</td><td align="right">530,000</td><td align="right">0.68%</td></tr>
<tr><td>Aklanon</td><td align="right">520,000</td><td align="right">0.67%</td></tr>
<tr><td>Ibanag</td><td align="right">320,000</td><td align="right">0.41%</td></tr>
<tr><td>TOTAL</td><td align="right">77,627,086</td><td align="right">100.00%</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
The "Filipino language" is intended to evolve from the fusion of the various languages and dialects in the Philippines. That sounds to me like an absolutely long process.<br />
<br />
Meantime, books that effectively teach Tagalog to non-Tagalogs would do great.<br />
<br />
On the same breath, I also wish that books about the local languages will be created as well. In the country's desire to have a national language, it will be a pity if the educators forget about the dialects.<br />
<br />
These dialects are part of the country's heritage. The country will do well to preserve them.Sidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00041646426133904759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8334184816787118438.post-38345996621356590802010-09-01T06:00:00.099+08:002010-09-01T06:00:00.852+08:00What turns men into fathers? Check this out.I welcome this news with a grain of salt:<br />
<blockquote><b>What turns men into fathers?</b><br />
<br />
<i>Why do men suddenly turn from macho to cuddly bears around babies?</i><br />
<br />
Now, a new research answers why. A study has shown that levels of oxytocin, the ‘cuddle chemical’ released into the blood during labour, also rise in new fathers.<br />
<br />
Not just that, their bodies see a sudden surge in prolactin, a hormone more commonly linked to milk production in new mothers.<br />
<br />
Source: <a href="http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/life-style/relationships/parenting/What-turns-men-into-fathers/articleshow/6318353.cms#ixzz0woYuDmQI">TimesOfIndia.com</a></blockquote>I welcome the fact that certain hormones act inside a man's body when a baby is born. But the danger with attributing fatherhood <i>solely</i> on hormonal activity is to associate fatherhood with the feminine side of parenting.<br />
<br />
That, to me, does not do justice to fatherhood and to parenting as a whole.<br />
<br />
<a name='more'></a>Parenthood is about male and female joining together and producing offsprings, biologically, emotionally, psychologically, mentally, spiritually and across whatever dimension our gurus may think of.<br />
<br />
Associating parenthood with the feminine side alone does not give a complete picture.<br />
<br />
Yeah, certain hormones may soften a man's temperament in front of a baby. In fact, the knees of some macho men shake upon carrying an absolutely vulnerable baby in their arms.<br />
<br />
But does this surge in hormonal activity lasts a lifetime? The news does not say.<br />
<br />
<b>What makes up a father is the entire person, not just the hormones. That ought to be clear.</b><br />
<br />
Let me quote General Douglas McArthur once again:<br />
<blockquote>By profession I am a soldier and take pride in that fact. But I am prouder – infinitely prouder – to be a father. A soldier destroys in order to build; the father only builds, never destroys. The one has the potentiality of death; the other embodies creation and life. <br />
<br />
And while the hordes of death are mighty, the battalions of life are mightier still. It is my hope that my son, when I am gone, will remember me not from the battle field but in the home repeating with him our simple daily prayer, 'Our Father who art in Heaven.'</blockquote>Was this statement due to oxytocin and prolactin?Sidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00041646426133904759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8334184816787118438.post-60432903444674878042010-08-29T06:00:00.169+08:002010-09-01T17:48:28.553+08:00Secure in Father's Arms: Investigating the Pain Brought by the Hostage-Taking in ManilaBuilding a family has among its pillars the provision of security to kids. It is an integral part of fatherhood. It is both a reward and a responsibility to see your kids gather around you.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.cbc.ca/gfx/images/news/photos/2010/08/23/w-philippines-hostage-rtxsc.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="225" src="http://www.cbc.ca/gfx/images/news/photos/2010/08/23/w-philippines-hostage-rtxsc.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Police commandos assault a bus in a hostage-taking incident<br />
at the Quirino Grandstand in Manila on Aug 23, 2010.<br />
Source: <a href="http://www.cbc.ca/world/story/2010/08/23/philippines-police-hostage-bus-tourists.html" target="new">CBC News | Manila bus hostage-taking ends with 9 dead</a></td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
Why do kids love to gather around parents? They do it even when parents want to be alone sometimes. Kids simply do that. Or, they at least yearn to do that.<br />
<br />
<a name='more'></a>Kids long for the security of being around a loving and protective parent. They know everything will go just fine. Things are fine regardless of how strong the rain or how loud the thunderclap is. Their initial fears quickly fizzle out. That is, when they feel the strong arms of their father around them.<br />
<br />
At this point let me zoom out very quickly and see Filipino society. We are one big family. The citizens are children of the State.<br />
<br />
To whom do we lean on for security? To whom do we gather around so that our fears quickly fizzle out? To whom do we run to in the midst of strong rains and loud thunderclaps?<br />
<br />
<i>We tremble at the absence of a good answer.</i><br />
<br />
Everybody went berserk as they watched the <a href="http://www.abs-cbnnews.com/nation/08/23/10/us-embassy-condemns-manila-hostage-taking" target="new">hostage-taking situation in Manila</a>. It was a poorly executed police operation that costed the lives of Chinese tourists and maimed others.<br />
<br />
<i>It was also an event that sliced the hearts of the Filipino people cleanly in two.</i><br />
<br />
The perpetrator wore the uniform of a policeman. The uniformed people who dealt with the situation were policemen. The people who bangled everything in front of the entire world were members of the Philippine National Police! They were <i>our</i> police!<br />
<br />
<i>A child does not understand the word betrayal. A child simply asks questions persistently. He does that until he finds an answer that satisfies him.</i><br />
<br />
There is a child with big round uncomprehending eyes in the midst of investigations, official statements, resignations and litigations at the wake of that sad event. I hope the State sees this child with loving eyes. He is the child in each of 80 million Filipinos here and abroad.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/32938112@N05/4935599467/" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" title="040220106215 by Marvin Macatol, on Flickr"><img alt="040220106215" height="300" src="http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4121/4935599467_06e95fdd22.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My kids gathered around me one afternoon while I was watching DVD.<br />
My wife saw it and quickly took this photo.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
In the middle of our sleep, we turn, and sigh, and cry. The child in each one of us asks questions. Who do we turn to now? Who shall protect us? Who shall wrap their strong and loving arms around us? Who shall assure us that everything would be fine?<br />
<br />
If something must come out good from what happened, I pray it would be the realization that many hearts simply were wounded and maimed.<br />
<br />
<i>To say sorry is one thing. To transform is another.</i>Sidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00041646426133904759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8334184816787118438.post-39293686764470319302010-08-27T06:00:00.142+08:002010-08-27T14:50:32.326+08:00Raising Kids, the Cultural Divide and Maria Venus RajHad cultural differences in raising kids and building a family come into play in the recent Miss Universe pageant?<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div>An uproar among "smart" Filipinos, who wish they were the ones in front of Alec Baldwin, happened after this interview (emphasis mine):<br />
<blockquote>The Hollywood star asked the 22-year-old Filipino-Indian, “What is one big mistake that you’ve made in your life and what did you do to make it right?”<br />
<br />
Raj replied, “You know what, sir, in my 22 years of existence, I can say that there's nothing major major problem that I've done in my life because <b>I'm very confident with my family, with the love that they are giving to me</b>. So thank you so much that I'm here. Thank you, thank you so much.”<br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Source: </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://www.abs-cbnnews.com/entertainment/08/26/10/even-bush-us-journalists-couldnt-answer-venus-rajs-question">Even Bush, US journalists couldn't answer Venus Raj's question | ABS-CBNnews.com</a></span></blockquote>I couldn't help but squeeze my own thoughts on that question. What big mistake could a 22-year old Filipino girl possibly admit in front of the entire world, while her own mother was watching?<br />
<br />
<a name='more'></a>Rule out having been impregnated by someone. Rule out drugs. Rule out excessive alcohol. Rule out partying all night and getting stoned. Rule out getting arrested for driving drunk. Any one of these could have disqualified Venus Raj from the beginning.<br />
<br />
So, what big mistake could that possibly be? Eating too much hamburgers perhaps? Not brushing her teeth one day? Would anyone have an idea?<br />
<br />
To counter those who saw Venus' reply as dumb, I posted the following status message in my Facebook account:<br />
<blockquote>I think Venus Raj did much better than George Bush in answering that question. Bush said, "Mmm... I wish I, you would have given me a, this written, a question ahead of time." Folks, that was the President of the United States of America. I'm proud of you Miss Maria Venus Raj!</blockquote>Interestingly enough, this prompted a very insightful reply from my relative who lives in West Hartford, Connecticut (emphasis mine):<br />
<blockquote>I grew up with a notion that parents didn't make mistakes. Was it true? Probably not.. but if Miss Philippines grew up in a similar atmosphere (a "no excuses, no mistakes" atmosphere) then I can see why that was a tough question for her.<br />
<br />
A note for those abroad... nearly every job interview here in the U.S. will ask that question Alec Baldwin asked Miss Philippines. In management, the method an individual fixes mistakes is a manager's measurement of Character. If it's a big mistake but an even greater solution & better solution within guidelines, then that creates a great Character. To the western world, Miss Philippines dodged the question & it sounded like she never made mistakes in life. <b>To those that were really listening.. She had never made huge mistakes because she had a great family to assure she stayed aligned. </b>To a bulk of the western world, she portrayed that she was Miss Perfect without mistakes.</blockquote><b>Believe it or not, the family is <i>still</i> a big deal in the Philippines. </b>At 22 years old, the family still plays a big part in one's major decisions in life. An admission of a big mistake at that age is an admission of a big failure in the family. People here will ask, "Paano ba pinalaki ng magulang yan?" (How did her parents raise her up?)<br />
<br />
The reason why Filipino parents use a particular way of raising kids almost always has something to do with the name of the family. That's Filipino culture. That culture is alive and kicking, all the way to the Miss Universe pageant.<br />
<br />
<b>What was on the line when Venus Raj struggled to answer that question was not just her own honor, but the honor of her family and anyone else whose family name was "Raj." Maria Venus Raj defended it.</b><br />
<br />
Westerners would not understand that. That was why I believe cultural differences in raising kids and building a family came into play in that pageant.<br />
<br />
Do I fret? No, not a all. With Maria Venus Raj having topped online surveys during the pageant, making it to the Top 15, and then to the Top 5, many Filipinos already went crazy.<br />
<br />
Miss Philippines Maria Venus Raj, you made us proud!Sidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00041646426133904759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8334184816787118438.post-11364746197496981902010-08-25T06:00:00.230+08:002010-08-25T17:01:08.340+08:00Filipino Family Customs and Traditions, in the Eyes of ForeignersCurrent Filipino family customs got a fair description in at least two sites that discussed Asian culture and tradition. I found that pleasing because they were written by foreigners.<br />
<br />
At AsianInfo.org, the description focused on respect to elders, ways of communicating and the status of women:<br />
<blockquote>Faithfulness to the family is a tradition that is characteristic of Filipino society. This family loyalty is apparent in the fact that there are no booming businesses for retirement homes or orphanages in the Philippines. xxx In their communication with each other, speaking politely is important as is speaking with a gentle tone of voice. xxx Unlike other Asian countries where women tend to be in more subservient positions, women in the Philippines have had high societal positions since precolonial times.<br />
Source: <a href="http://www.asianinfo.org/asianinfo/philippines/pro-family_customs.htm">Filipino Customs (www.asianinfo.org)</a></blockquote><a name='more'></a>These descriptions were very true from personal experience. Respect for elders was too basic among Filipino families that we sometimes thought that each Filipino child was born with that virtue. But no, we got this virtue at home, as we grew up in a Filipino home.<br />
<br />
One would wish each Filipino family continued to teach this virtue regardless of whether they were in the Philippines or abroad.<br />
<br />
In speaking with a gentle tone of voice, I personally experienced being disliked for not having the gift of such a gentle voice. Yes, you could be totally disliked by everyone here, simply because of your rough voice, <i>regardless of your brilliance.</i> Even if you had the cure for AIDS or the solution for global warming or the knowledge of who killed John Kennedy, you had to speak gently or nobody would listen!<br />
<br />
There was a good and bad side to that, I guess, but we could leave it at that at the moment. The Filipino's passion for harmony could be unbelievable, and that worked well in preserving the unity of Filipino families.<br />
<br />
Another article in the internet spoke about the Filipino's loyalty to his/her own family as something that was thicker than blood. This was written by someone in the online dating business.<br />
<blockquote>The family is considered as the basic unit of society in the Philippines and for a Filipina, faithfulness to her family take first priority. You may not believe that there are cases when a choice has to be made, the Filipina lady will choose her parents or family over you. (they have a saying you can get another husband but there's only one set of parents for her).<br />
Source: <a href="http://ezinearticles.com/?A-Typical-Filipino-Family&id=821776">A Typical Filipino Family (www.ezinearticles.com)</a></blockquote>Again, I could not agree with this more. I saw this first hand. To choose the husband over father or mother, when one was in a situation to have to choose, was an absolute taboo. Wella (not her real name) split up with Caloy (not his real name) and they cancelled their planned wedding. This happened when Caloy sued Wella's father for embezzling some funds. There was no quarrel between Caloy and Wella. But Wella felt he had to make a choice, and she chose her father.<br />
<br />
Glenn (not his real name), told me about the way he started off his marriage with his wife Terry (again, not her real name). Being the only son, Glenn did not want to leave his aging mother alone after he married (his father died early). Before exchanging "I do's" with Terry, Glenn told Terry not to let him choose between her and his mother. Glenn told Terry that she would certainly lose. Terry was very understanding and loving enough to say, "no problem." So, the wedding pushed through.<br />
<br />
People from other countries may find the Filipino brand of family loyalty and harmony too much to bear. I find that a pity. But even as we didn't wish to impose our values on them, this was one reality that they just had to embrace.Sidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00041646426133904759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8334184816787118438.post-44272839273541934662010-08-24T06:38:00.009+08:002010-08-26T18:14:06.744+08:00Think of Maria Venus Raj<b>Any woman who fancies herself to be </b><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/venus_raj" target="new"><b>Venus Raj</b></a><b> during these times may as well think again.</b> Here you are walking and smiling and chatting with other beautiful faces representing other nationalities and cultures. You know that, every minute, you are under the scrutiny of the most merciless of judges.<br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs255.snc4/40089_465662484923_378466824923_6554832_3857237_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs255.snc4/40089_465662484923_378466824923_6554832_3857237_n.jpg" width="248" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Melody Gerbasch (left, RIP) in a happy<br />
moment with Venus Raj (right).<br />
<a href="http://www.facebook.com/MariaVenusRaj" target="new">http://www.facebook.com/MariaVenusRaj</a></td></tr>
</tbody></table>But at one point you have to muster the courage to bravely say "No" to the wishes of billionaire Donald Trump for contestants to go through <a href="http://www.mb.com.ph/articles/272655/miss-universe-goes-nude-rp-s-raj-teaches-them-how-behave">topless photoshoot</a>.<br />
<br />
<i>What you need at this time is a lot of inspiration.</i><br />
<br />
Yet inspiration is the very thing that you are not getting much from home:<br />
<ul><li><a href="http://www.mb.com.ph/articles/272979/40-die-benguet-bus-plunge" target="new">A bus plunged to a 30-foot ravine and killed 41 people</a></li>
<li><a href="http://www.abs-cbnnews.com/video/entertainment/08/22/10/venus-raj-offers-miss-u-bid-melody-gersbach" target="new">As if that was not bad enough, your mentor <b>Melody Gerbasch</b> got killed in a horrendous car accident </a></li>
<li><a href="http://newsinfo.inquirer.net/inquirerheadlines/nation/view/20100824-288458/Bloodbath-at-Rizal-Park" target="new">To top all of that just two days before coronation, your country just figured in a hostage-taking incident that wasted at least 7 tourists</a></li>
</ul>For Filipinos who had a strong distaste for these incidents and who feel a deep shame for the most recent of these, <i><b>think of Venus Raj</b></i>. Her good friend just passed away, and here comes this news. She is surrounded by the world, in flesh. What do you think she feels right now?<br />
<br />
<a name='more'></a>Venus Raj is at this time a top favorite in the <a href="http://www.mb.com.ph/articles/273061/raj-a-top-choice-miss-universe-crown" target="new">online surveys</a> for the Miss Universe crown. Think of what can happen to her dreams and to the country she represents if she allows herself to wallow on these events and freak out. Could you handle yourself well if you were her?<br />
<br />
<i>So, ladies, you still want to be Venus Raj today?</i><br />
<br />
<b>The ladies with iron will and the ability to remain stable in the midst of great pressure will say a resounding YES! </b>Venus Raj has the grandest of all opportunities to come out a real winner, not just in the pageant, but of life itself. Winners will grab chances like that with gusto.<br />
<br />
It is a chance that we all Filipinos--men and women--have, right here, right now. We have a grand chance today to maintain our focus on what we have set out to do in life, despite pressures that seek to test our will. <b><i>Think of Venus Raj.</i></b> We don't succumb to anger and blaming. We move on.<br />
<br />
Let us all move on.<br />
<br />
Being herself in front of the world, in the midst of great pressure, is the real crown Venus Raj will bring home with her when she comes back.<br />
<br />
<b>I already salute Venus Raj for maintaining her focus in what she has set out to do.</b> By keeping her course in the midst of setbacks at home, she is already showing a great example of a wining attitude that all Filipinos -- both men and women -- can emulate.<br />
<br />
August 24, 2010<br />
6:00AM MANILASidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00041646426133904759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8334184816787118438.post-45284811117287951962010-08-22T06:00:00.449+08:002010-08-22T09:05:32.326+08:00So, You Want to Get Married and Have Kids? (Part 3 of 3)Getting Married and Having Kids series really talks about <i>building a strong marriage foundation </i>(Part 1), <i>baptism into fatherhood </i>(Part 2) and <i>fatherly decisions </i>(Part 3, this post).<br />
<br />
My mentors have taught me that there are three basic decisions that a father needs to make:<br />
<ul><li>The decision to provide for the family</li>
<li>The decision to protect the family</li>
<li>The decision to be a moral beacon for the family</li>
</ul><br />
<b>Providing for the family</b><br />
<br />
Filipino culture, and almost every culture, vests the responsibility for providing for the material needs of the family on the father. These material needs primarily refers to food, clothing and shelter. Higher needs would include education and recreation.<br />
<br />
<a name='more'></a>The decision to provide for the family frightens many men. I know of not a few who delay marriage because of this fear. Success in this decision is the dream of all fathers, if not for the love, then at least for the pride of it. Pride or sense of affirmation is important to men. Yet time is also running.<br />
<br />
The questions would be:<br />
<ul><li>How much money do you want in the bank?</li>
<li>Are you willing to do what it takes to reach this goal?</li>
<li>What is your time frame?</li>
</ul><br />
Whether we like it or not, whatever we do, as men, is also our legacy to our children. Children who follow the footsteps of their parents are fairly common. This sometimes happens even if they dislike the parent.<br />
<br />
So, in whatever occupation we do to provide for our family, the basic question would be:<br />
<ul><li>Is this a legacy you want your children to carry on? </li>
<li>If yes, good.</li>
<li>If not, where can you make a change today? </li>
</ul><br />
This change, whatever this might be, does not need to be drastic. It simply has to be one doable step that you can do <i>today</i> that points you to the direction that you want. You would want to follow this up with another step tomorrow. But you can worry about that step tomorrow. Just make this step today.<br />
<br />
<b>Protecting the family</b><br />
<br />
This task is carried out in many dimensions. Physical protection has something to do with the physical health of each person in the family. This can mean buying insect repellants and pest killers to buying health insurances for each one. But this can also mean talking one-on-one with the boyfriend of your daughter who got drunk one night, couldn't drive, and your daughter has to take a taxi to go home.<br />
<br />
What steps have you done in this area?<br />
<br />
Protecting the family also happens in the emotional dimension. In Part 1 of this series I recommended <i>The 5 Love Languages</i> by Gary Chapman. We can protect our loved ones from emotional pain by knowing their love languages and observing what makes them loved <i>and</i> where their vulnerabilities to pain are.<br />
<br />
For example, your wife or your child may have the love language of quality time. How do you protect them from emotional pain in the midst of your busy schedule? One suggestion is to treat them like clients that you have to put into your own calendar. Otherwise, their vulnerability can make them think you are ignoring them, and therefore not loving them.<br />
<br />
Have you read that book?<br />
<br />
Lastly, protecting the family can happen in the mental dimension. Many professional say that "<a href="http://www.raisingfilipinoboys.com/2010/08/stunning-early-child-development.html">experiences between birth and age 5 matter significantly to children's long-term emotional and psychological health</a>." Thus, being active in family affairs, most especially in the early years of a child, is something we cannot take for granted.<br />
<br />
<i>In our case, just to share with you, protecting our kids in the mental arena has involved turning off the TV and showing them pre-selected VCDs and DVDs instead. There's just no telling what our friends behind the screen can cook up the next moment, and they are not necessarily good for our children's perception of what's right and what's wrong.</i><br />
<br />
Another little way we can protect our loved ones in the mental plane is to teach them about money. Please check my cute post that discusses why we should teach <a href="http://www.raisingfilipinoboys.com/2010/08/if-you-love-your-kids-teach-them-about.html">saving money and compound interest</a> to our kids.<br />
<br />
Most often, it's only a matter of how you spend time at home, without touching the time you need to be at work.<br />
<br />
<b>Becoming a moral beacon</b><br />
<br />
This is the part that is very personal, because this is the part that has something to do with you, or with me, as a person. What sort of a person are we? If everybody follows what we do, will the world become a better place to live in?<br />
<br />
Once upon a time we were restless kids doing everything we like to do. We made mistakes and called them adventure. We hurt some people and called them spices of life. We messed up people's lives and called it experience. Then we saluted people with lots of experience!<br />
<br />
I have talked to a friend one day. I have known him to be a very carefree person. His attitudes about life changed for the better the day he had a child with his girlfriend, whom he married later. They are now living happily ever after. That "change" has been his moment of decision.<br />
<br />
I knew that he was speaking truth when, in our last conversation, we talked about homeschooling and Waldorf and about getting involved in our children's young education.<br />
<br />
Some of us, men, do this early. Some of us do this late. Some of us do this deliberately, while some of us do this as a matter of course. But either way, we realize that who we are, as a person, matters in our roles as husbands and fathers.<br />
<br />
<br />
May you live a great life with your wife and kids!<br />
<br />
<br />
RELATED ARTICLES<br />
<ul><li><a href="http://www.raisingfilipinoboys.com/2010/08/so-you-want-to-get-married-and-have.html">So, You Want to Get Married and Have Kids? (Part 1 of 3)</a></li>
<li><a href="http://www.raisingfilipinoboys.com/2010/08/so-you-want-to-get-married-and-have.html"></a><a href="http://www.raisingfilipinoboys.com/2010/08/so-you-want-to-get-married-and-have_15.html">So, You Want to Get Married and Have Kids? (Part 2 of 3)</a></li>
<li><a href="http://www.raisingfilipinoboys.com/2010/08/stunning-early-child-development.html">Stunning Early Child Development Findings and Why Parents Need to Pay Close Attention</a></li>
</ul>Sidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00041646426133904759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8334184816787118438.post-51372879053213272032010-08-20T06:00:00.124+08:002010-08-20T10:59:17.488+08:00Raising a Modern Day Knight? Absolutely!<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Raising-Modern-Day-Knight-Fathers-Authentic/dp/1589973097?ie=UTF8&tag=christfather-20&link_code=bil&camp=213689&creative=392969" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;" target="_blank"><img alt="Raising a Modern-Day Knight: A Father's Role in Guiding His Son to Authentic Manhood" src="http://ws.amazon.com/widgets/q?MarketPlace=US&ServiceVersion=20070822&ID=AsinImage&WS=1&Format=_SL160_&ASIN=1589973097&tag=christfather-20" /></a>Raising a Modern Day Knight<img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=christfather-20&l=bil&camp=213689&creative=392969&o=1&a=1589973097" style="border: none !important; margin: 0px !important; padding: 0px !important;" width="1" /> -- This book grabbed my attention one night as I was browsing the internet about fathers and sons. I was surprised at the popularity of the book in the search pages that I wondered why I never encountered the title in my previous searches.<br />
<br />
I saw a site that showed the first chapter of the book. I read reviews about it. I read blogs written by parents who read the book, and applied it in their own families. Boy, I was really hooked.<br />
<br />
The book was written on the premise that men of today did not have the rite of passage from boyhood to manhood that men of olden times had. The author was saying that many boys left their homes for college without really knowing--deep inside--whether or not they were already men.<br />
<br />
<a name='more'></a>That caught my attention. I could relate well with it. I left home for college and stayed away for good, except to visit, just like many members of my class. I left home knowing I was already a man, not just a boy, but I had a prayer a year before that, which made me relate with Raising a Modern Day Knight even more.<br />
<br />
At 15 years old, I prayed "Lord, teach me how to become a man." Manhood to me at that time was more than just the physical changes in my body. I understood manhood to be something like knighthood, and for that I sought guidance from the Lord. After all, I was studying in a Jesuit school and Saint Ignatius of Loyola was a knight.<br />
<br />
I could still remember the circumstances when I made that prayer. I was riding on a jeepney on my way to school. I was wearing the white collared shirt of <a href="http://www.xu.edu.ph/index.php">Xavier University</a> High School. My parents taught subjects in college. The high school was an all-boys school at that time (not anymore since more than 10 years ago and, gosh, even the campus moved uphill to a better location near the airport).<br />
<br />
During that time, a classmate of mine was playing the role of Don Quixote in a stage drama entitled The Man from La Mancha. It was watched by students from several schools in the city, including the all-girls school nearby. That emphasized even more in my young age the values of knighthood in one's transition to manhood ... and in impressing beautiful girls wearing pink school uniforms.<br />
<br />
There was even a funny twist in this high school memory. Don Quixote's helmet and lance were kept at the office of the Prefect of Student Affairs. One day, I and a few classmates did not listen well to instructions about the change in venue for our Chemistry class. We were marked cutting classes.<br />
<br />
To discipline us, one of us was made to wear Don Quixote's helmet, hold the lance, and stand at attention at the door of the Prefect of Student Affairs. The rest of us stood at attention under the heat of the sun on the cemented area across the prefect's office. (This was when the high school campus was in the main campus. The place where we were made to stand was right outside the campus canteen where both high school and college students went to have some snacks.)<br />
<br />
I stood at attention as everyone else did, proud that I was a man. A young man, yes, but a man nonetheless. I thought at that time, only boys would complain with what we were made to do. I knew we committed a violation (though honest-to-goodness I was simply misled to think the class was cancelled) and we had to pay for that violation somehow. In a man's world, that was how things went. No ifs, no buts.<br />
<br />
Now that I have a son, I ask the same question. What is manhood? Again, the images of the knights that I saw in my mind in high school begin to reappear.<br />
<br />
Most of the fathers that I know raise their boys with the assumption that soon, at the right age, they'll discover their manhood. Still, wouldn't it be great if there is a clear guidance from their fathers on how to actually go about the process of transition to manhood? Wouldn't it be great if all sons leave home knowing <i>for sure</i> that they are men?<br />
<br />
Raising a Modern Day Knight was an attempt to answer these questions; and I couldn't wait to find out more about what it had to say.Sidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00041646426133904759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8334184816787118438.post-80395647934326105082010-08-18T06:00:00.165+08:002010-08-18T06:00:03.812+08:00Stunning Early Child Development Findings and Why Parents Need to Pay Close AttentionEarly child development has been discussed just a bit in a seminar that my wife and I have attended years ago. Yet we've been deeply shaken. The seminar has said that 50% of the child's mental programming happens at 0 to 4 years old. An additional 30% takes place at 5 to 8 years old. Then another 15% takes place at ages 9 to 15 years.<br />
<br />
This article seems to reaffirm what the seminar has said:<br />
<blockquote><b>Early Childhood Experiences Have Lasting Emotional and Psychological Effects</b><br />
Experiences between birth and age 5 matter significantly to children's long-term emotional and psychological health, and changing these experiences for the better pays dividends, according to an editorial and several new reports in the May issue of Archives of Pediatrics & Adolescent Medicine, one of the JAMA/Archives journals.<br />
Source: <a href="http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2010/05/100503161332.htm">http://www.sciencedaily.com</a></blockquote><a name='more'></a>The implication of these early child development findings to parents are simply earth shaking.<br />
<br />
<b> The key question now is, who does the child spend the most time with at ages 0 to 4 years? </b>In our very busy world, some children spend those years mostly with the Nanny. How much of the 50% of a child's mental programming comes from the Nanny? Is this a happy thought for all of us?<br />
<br />
<b>At 5 to 8 years old, who does the child spend the most time with? </b>It isn't just the Nanny this time but also the people on the TV screens. You may have names in your mind right now. Add to them those sexy bodies, gyrating in popular noontime shows. Again, is that a happy thought?<br />
<br />
<b>The scariest of them all are the ages 9 to 16 years when the child spends a lot of his time with peers in school and neighborhood.</b> They contribute a lot to the 15% of your child's mental programming. Do we know who are our child's friends are? Are you comfortable with them?<br />
<br />
Parents of today deal with one big reality that the parents of yore have not faced. There simply are more merciless influencers in each child development stage today than in the days of yore. The word of the father, the head of the household, has been considered law in the days of yore. Not these days. A father has to do more than just dictating policies at home.<br />
<br />
<i><b>How should parents maintain their primacy among all influencers in a child's life?</b></i><br />
<br />
Here are a few thoughts you may consider:<br />
<ol><li><b>Love is the primary thing a child needs from parents</b> --- Let's give it according to the love language of our children.</li>
<li><b>Verbal or physical punishment is not love, in the eyes of our children.</b> It's definitely not a language of love in today's world, where children have emotional outlets outside of their parents, which is something we all need to be very wary about, to say the least.</li>
<li><b>What gets rewarded gets done.</b> Rather than catch what our children have done wrong, we catch them doing something right and applaud them each time.</li>
</ol>You may have other thoughts that are applicable in today's world. Please share them in this post.<br />
<br />
Have a great and abundant day!<br />
<div style="text-align: left;"></div>Sidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00041646426133904759noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8334184816787118438.post-80375595271824135642010-08-15T06:00:00.125+08:002010-09-16T09:37:01.308+08:00So, You Want to Get Married and Have Kids? (Part 2 of 3)<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4075/4814416777_342d354f81_m.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4075/4814416777_342d354f81_m.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My eldest at 18 hours.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>At this point, you are now happily married, and your next wish is to have kids. Your prayers have been granted. Something came out of your wife as small, tender and vulnerable human being called the baby.<br />
<br />
You are now a father. Congratulations!<br />
<br />
<i>In my case, I trembled the first time I carried <b>my</b> baby. It was <b>my</b> baby! I couldn't believe it! <b>My</b> baby!</i><br />
<br />
<i>The other thing I could not forget was the way the one day old baby (whom the mother-friendly hospital brought to my wife's bed) searched me out when he heard my voice. It was as if he was saying, "hey, I know that voice!" I was speaking to my wife's womb, telling stories to my kid while he was still inside.</i><br />
<br />
After getting promoted to being a "father" you may find that some things change faster than you can comprehend them.<br />
<br />
<a name='more'></a><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4136/4814417039_93f391faa8_m.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4136/4814417039_93f391faa8_m.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Washing the diapers.<br />
How memorable!</td></tr>
</tbody></table><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;"><i><i>My son was a colic child and that affected my wife's ability to move around home. She could not bear the incessant and inconsolable crying of the baby. So I had to spring into action. </i></i></span><i>I woke up at 4:30am each day to rinse the clothes, cook and go to office two hours away. Then at 9pm, I cooked dinner, washed the diapers and soaked them in soap all night to be rinsed early morning. This went on for two months.</i></i><br />
<br />
<i>On the third month, the inconsolable crying stopped. It helped further that at this time we finally got someone to help us out at home. I missed the inconsolable crying at times that I found myself pinching the baby just to hear him cry once more :)</i></div><br />
Your fate as a husband and father may be different and much better than that. Or at least, pray that it will be different and far better than that ... har har har. The point is, there will be challenges and you just have to face it like a man.<br />
<br />
It will have its own rewards. At some point you would notice that the baby would start to identify with you, whether the baby's a girl or a boy. But boys would identify with you more, if you're lovingly present in their lives.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4121/4814417451_6025a4ce80.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4121/4814417451_6025a4ce80.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This was a time when phone cameras were babies themselves,<br />
so forgive the resolution.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><i>It felt like a great prize to have the baby wrap himself on top of you as he slept. It felt like a great reward for rising early in the morning and arriving late. At this time in my life, I was living 60 kilometers away from work. My wife and I spent 24 hours per week inside the bus. Yes, she was working too.</i><br />
<br />
As the boy identifies with you, you will find yourself thinking of ways of how to spend time with him. Your creativity will be tested. Then you will realize that all you really have to do was recall your own childhood, the ways you remember it with fondness, and the ways you would have wanted it to be better.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4093/4815041600_b24312cb77.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4093/4815041600_b24312cb77.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I cherish this picture because this <i>was</i> rare.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><i>The times I spent reading books to my kid were treasured moments, coz they were rare. At this stage in my life, I was able to spend time with him only on weekends. He was asleep when I left home for work and he was asleep when I arrived home at night. </i><br />
<br />
At this point it will dawn on you that you are no longer you. You are someone else. You are someone else's father. Next thing you know, this little chap struggles to stand up and walk. He succeeds later on and everyone celebrates.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4093/4815041818_22a67b4504.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4093/4815041818_22a67b4504.jpg" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My son was learning how to stand up.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
He asserts himself further by messing up with you while you're having fun with the videoke, as if to say, "Hey, away with that! Focus on me!" But then you realize he just wants to do the things that you do.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4095/4815042282_33e08d7fe4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4095/4815042282_33e08d7fe4.jpg" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I love singing. Yes I do. So did my son.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
Punch the laptop as you do ...<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4095/4815042872_df3bf7969e.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4095/4815042872_df3bf7969e.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I worked at home. I still do.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
or drive the car as you do ...<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4095/4815043304_d7cae2372c.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4095/4815043304_d7cae2372c.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This was a company car.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
Time moves faster now, and one day you notice that indeed someone else is acting like you do ...<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4081/4815045538_ea17efb6cf.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4081/4815045538_ea17efb6cf.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This picture is rare. Actually, my son is very jolly.<br />
You'd think there's something funny on your face.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
As he sleeps when you arrive, you may start to actually think. Who is this guy in my house?<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4077/4815045734_a13fa41a7c.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4077/4815045734_a13fa41a7c.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Truly, time passed so swiftly. What was once a tiny little baby<br />
is now someone who actually occupies your space on the bed.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
Time runs faster still and you realize, hey, there are now two of them!<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4126/4991089511_1f07158cac.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4126/4991089511_1f07158cac.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My daughter was born five years after.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
You wipe your eyes and say, "Indeed I now have two kids."<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4093/4814420407_ec2c8a4834.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4093/4814420407_ec2c8a4834.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">... and my daughter is just as jolly as my son.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
My parents have eleven children. I am the tenth.<br />
<br />
One day when I was working as a student (I taught algorithm in a computer school when I was in 3rd year college), I had a drink with one of my students. He was a much older man, around 50 at that time. We called him, "Tito Jo." He told me his story I could not forget.<br />
<br />
When he was young and reckless, he married and had children. His wife left him for the States bringing all their kids with her. Years passed and he finally got permission from his wife to see the kids and get to know them. The kids were already teens at this time. The kids were also excited to finally see their father.<br />
<br />
My reaction to his story way, "So, it was a happy ending after all!" Then he told me something I could not forget. He said, <i>"I missed the chance of carrying them as babies and toddlers, and coddling them as little boys and girls. Now they're teens. I couldn't do those things to them anymore."</i><br />
<br />
Whew!<br />
<br />
I further realized in life that you don't have to have the experience of Tito Jo to miss the chance of carrying your kids as babies and toddlers, and coddling them as little boys and girls. All you have to do is work, work, work and forget that there are people growing up at your home.<br />
<br />
As to me, I don't want to miss the chance for anything.<br />
<br />
What is your resolve?<br />
<br />
- - -<br />
<br />
To be continued next week, Aug 22 ...<i> So, You Want to Get Married and Have Kids? (Part 3 of 3).</i><br />
<br />
RELATED ARTICLE:<br />
<br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"></div><ul><li><a href="http://www.raisingfilipinoboys.com/2010/08/so-you-want-to-get-married-and-have.html">So, You Want to Get Married and Have Kids? (Part 1 of 3)</a></li>
<li><a href="http://www.raisingfilipinoboys.com/2010/08/so-you-want-to-get-married-and-have_22.html">So, You Want to Get Married and Have Kids? (Part 3 of 3)</a></li>
</ul><br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: left;"></div>Sidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00041646426133904759noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8334184816787118438.post-35679538591806592602010-08-14T08:35:00.002+08:002010-08-14T08:35:10.732+08:00I'm Registering this Blog with MyLot<a href="http://www.mylot.com/marvinmacs/17192">myLot User Profile</a>Sidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00041646426133904759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8334184816787118438.post-49432367893983994382010-08-13T06:00:00.008+08:002010-08-22T09:09:41.977+08:00If You Love Your Kids, Teach Them about Compound Interest NOW!I'd say that there are two things that we, parents in the family, can pass on to our kids for which these kids will be eternally grateful for:<br />
<ol><li>Knowledge that we, parents, LOVE them; and,</li>
<li>An understanding of what compound interest is.</li>
</ol><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4115/4815206724_8b9e1ba5f0.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4115/4815206724_8b9e1ba5f0.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />
I can see some eyebrows go up. What the heck is Marvin talking about here? compound interest? What has that got to do with kids and parenting?<br />
<br />
<i>I understand you.</i><br />
<br />
<a name='more'></a>There was one teacher in Plantation Elementary School (in Phillips, Bukidnon, home of Del Monte Philippines) whom I could not forget. I won't mention her name. She passionately taught us kids in Grade 4 what an interest rate was and what a "loan shark" was.<br />
<br />
As she was talking, I remembered telling myself, oh this must be what Papa and Mama were talking about one Sunday morning. I heard words like "loan" and "interest." It didn't make any sense to me because my picture of "loan" was the "lawn" in front of our house where I and other kids played. Interest was simply a word you use when you liked something. This was 1978.<br />
<br />
The drawback in this teacher's lesson was, it painted in my mind a picture of suffering and helplessness on the paying side of the equation. Then there were greedy and evil people on the other side of the equation. My young mind was therefore programmed into thinking that "interest rate" was not a pleasant subject to discuss.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div>Many years later, it was <b>Robert Kiyosaki</b>, through <b><i>Rich Dad Poor Dad<iframe align="left" frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=christfather-20&o=1&p=8&l=bpl&asins=0446677477&fc1=000000&IS2=1&lt1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr" style="align: left; height: 245px; padding-right: 10px; padding-top: 5px; width: 131px;"></iframe></i></b>, <b><i>Cashflow Quadrant</i></b> and <i><b>Rich Dad's Guide to Investing</b></i>, who clarified my understanding. Robert basically said that "interest rate" could be pleasant or nasty, depending on what you made out of it. Then Robert proceeded to teach us how to make "interest rate" a pleasant thing.<br />
<br />
<i>So, how do we teach compound interest to our kids? </i>Your guess may be as good as mine, but my wife and I stumbled into a strategy you might help us develop and adopt as your own.<br />
<br />
Following Harv Eker's income allocation formula, we had a shelf loaded with six jars. One jar represented <i>Financial Freedom Account</i>, the second was <i>Long Term Savings for Spending</i>, while the third was <i>Have Fun Now Account</i>. Others were <i>Education Account, Giving Account</i> and <i>Cost of Living Account</i>. We were dropping coins in those jars to make automatic money allocation feel real. It was a habit forming program.<br />
<br />
My son saw my wife putting coins in those jars. Later, he claimed one of the jars as his own. That partially wrecked our habit forming program, but we stumbled into something absolutely cool. My kinestetic son understood the physical act of saving, and he was seeing money grow inside the jar.<br />
<br />
One night, my son and I had a talk. He told me he wanted to see all the jars filled. Then, once they get filled, we would get more jars and fill our house with money! He said, <i>"Let's save our money, Daddy, just like Uncle Scrooge!"</i><br />
<br />
I screamed inside me, <i>Uncle Scrooge! I hated Uncle Scrooge when I was a kid. </i>My son was of course referring to the Duck version of Uncle Scrooge from the Walt Disney story books.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4140/4814734901_85412e6ba5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4140/4814734901_85412e6ba5.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />
What I saw was a fertile soil on my son's mind on which I could plant seeds of understanding compound interest. He understood that money could be saved. He understood that money could grow. In no time at all, it would be easy for me to tell him that there were jars that could actually make the coins grow on their own. I would then tell him that such jar was called <i>compound interest jar</i>.<br />
<br />
I would then tell him to own several of these compound interest jars.<br />
<br />
<i>(Of course, I would also tell him about the other side of Uncle Scrooge, but that would be another story.)</i>Sidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00041646426133904759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8334184816787118438.post-23131012957126881902010-08-11T06:00:00.195+08:002010-08-13T10:58:10.106+08:00Filipino Fathers Play a Valuable Role in the Family, says a US studyHaving talked to several people about their fathers, I get this impression that most Filipinos recognize the valuable role that fathers play (or could have played) in their lives. It doesn't matter what the actual experience was.<br />
<br />
A study done in the Philippines by a US-based researcher appears to have validated that assertion.<br />
<br />
<blockquote><b>Exploring the Role of Filipino Fathers: Paternal Behaviors and Child Outcomes</b><br />
Scott E. Harper, Oklahoma Christian University, Oklahoma City, scott.harper@oc.edu<br />
<br />
Abstract<br />
Using data collected from an urban Southern Visayan province during the Summer of 2006, this study examines a sample of 133 Filipino fathers to consider potential relationships between father behaviors and child outcomes. Increased paternal psychological control predicts increased problematic child outcomes, with sons being more affected than daughters. Furthermore, increased authoritative fathering is associated with decreased externalizing problems of children as well as fewer internalizing problems for sons but not for daughters. Increased father involvement predicts improved sibling relationship quality for children. Other factors predicting problematic child outcomes in the overall regression model include father education and number of children in the household. Overall, findings support the idea that Filipino fathers play a valuable role in the lives of their children.<br />
<br />
Source: <a href="http://jfi.sagepub.com/content/31/1/66.short">http://jfi.sagepub.com/content/31/1/66.short</a></blockquote><br />
<a name='more'></a>I like the last sentence of the Abstract: "Overall, findings support the idea that Filipino fathers play a valuable role in the lives of their children." Too bad I am unable to get, at this time, the full text of the study. Hopefully soon. Anyhow, at this time, I am already happy with what the Abstract is saying.<br />
<br />
I'd like to feature at least three sites that seem to support that notion about Filipino fathers:<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.filipinamom.com/index.php/a-filipino-fathers-love-0424"><b>A Filipino Father's Love | The Filipina Mom in Denmark</b></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.filipinamom.com/index.php/a-filipino-fathers-love-0424" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="228" src="http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4134/4817129987_d97ee1e979.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />
I like the way the blog author reminisces about her father. I am also impressed by the way the father imbibed in her Filipino values, even while growing up and living in foreign lands.<br />
<blockquote><i>My father teachings:</i><br />
<ul><li><i>Respect your elders</i></li>
<li><i>eat only what you can just think about those children who don’t have anything to eat</i></li>
<li><i>Study hard</i></li>
<li><i>he hates young people who flirts at a very young age so we have to focus on our friends and studying (luckily there was no internet and cellphone at that time)</i></li>
<li><i>Although he doesn’t regularly go to church it’s my mother who is so religious he still encourage us to go to church on Sundays.</i></li>
<li><i>be kind and helpful to the needy.</i></li>
<li><i>don’t lie or steal</i></li>
<li><i>an there’s a lot more</i></li>
</ul></blockquote><br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.pcij.org/i-report/2007/filipino-fathers.html"><b>Rediscovering Daddy | Philippine Center for Investigative Journalism</b></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.pcij.org/i-report/2007/filipino-fathers.html" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="225" src="http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4101/4817130115_7790d2136e.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />
This is a full-blown journalistic article that talks about how Filipino families have discovered (or "rediscovered") the "nurturing side" of their fathers when they moved abroad. The article cites an example of a family that immigrated to Canada, where the father began spending more time at home.<br />
<blockquote><i>Just like elsewhere in the world, Filipino fathers are seen as the family breadwinner and provider, with female interviewees often describing their own dads as strict but kind, fair but a disciplinarian. But Pinoy fathers are also said to be a little bit more nurturing than those in other cultures, especially when it comes to dealing with daughters, of whom they are often very protective. And while circumstances such as a busy work schedule may sometimes “bury” that nurturing side of the typical tatay, the lack of the usual support systems in a strange, new place can bring the doting father back to fore.</i></blockquote><br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.mabuhayradio.com/content/view/257/51/"><b>Wisdom of our Filipino Fathers | Mabuhay Radio</b></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.mabuhayradio.com/content/view/257/51/" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="210" src="http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4137/4817130211_00ff073ee5.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />
The third site hosts testimonies of people about their fathers. I myself picked up some words of wisdom from my father, which still ring in my ears even after 12 years since he passed away. The words are, "Do not be ashamed, do not be afraid, do not be discouraged." You can read words of wisdom from other fathers, as posted by their sons, in this site.<br />
<blockquote><i>My father, Dominador S. Reyes (1909-2000), gave this advice, "A thing is good only when it can be had." I will eventually post my eulogy to him in this website. xxx Then there was the favorite adage of my now-deceased father-in-law, Estanislao "Vigan" de los Reyes, the youngest son of the late Isabelo "Don Belong" de los Reyes. Papa Vigan said, "Nobody can put a good man down."</i></blockquote><br />
Valuable indeed are the roles of fathers, whether they are in the Philippines or in other countries. It is a role that inherently suffers from lack of appreciation for the reason that fathers do things for their families whether they get appreciated or not.<br />
<br />
Accomplishing the mission is its own reward. Let all the challenges--including the lack of recognition--be integral parts of the adventure that we go through in life as men, as husbands and as fathers.<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: left;"></div>Sidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00041646426133904759noreply@blogger.com0